Relationship Anarchy and Investing: Building Love & Wealth
Relationship Anarchy and Investing: Building Love and Wealth
In this week’s episode of The Unicorn Millionaire Podcast, we dive into Relationship Anarchy and Investing with therapist Sarah Wolfer (she/they). We explore how redefining love and money can help you build both emotional and financial freedom.
When you think about it, how we structure relationships isn’t so different from how we structure our finances. Both are about choice, intention, and trust.
Both ask: What am I choosing to commit to, and does it reflect who I am now—not who I was told to be?
What Is Relationship Anarchy?
Relationship anarchy is the practice of building relationships based on freedom and intentionality rather than default rules. It’s the idea that love, like money, doesn’t have to follow a rigid hierarchy.
As Sarah explains in the episode, it’s about investing in relationships that feel aligned—not just romantic ones, but friendships, community, and the relationship you have with yourself.
When you understand that your emotional bandwidth is a resource, you stop spending it on guilt, obligation, or outdated expectations. You start investing it in connection, safety, and joy.
The Parallels Between Relationship Anarchy and Investing
Money and relationships both mirror how you value yourself.
In both areas, fear of scarcity keeps people playing small.
When clients come to me worried about maxing out their 401(k) or unsure if they “deserve” to invest, I see the same pattern Sarah sees in relationships: people waiting for permission to choose themselves.
Practicing relationship anarchy and investing means trusting your ability to make aligned decisions—whether that’s where to put your money or who to give your time to.
Investing in the Way You Love
Sarah and I talked about how queer, neurodivergent, and non-monogamous folks are rewriting what it means to build sustainable love.
That’s also what I help my clients do financially.
Because learning to invest your money is really about learning to trust your own authority.
You can build wealth and relationships that feel free, grounded, and deeply intentional—all at once.
That’s the intersection of relationship anarchy and investing: both are tools for liberation.
Listen to the Full Episode
If this conversation resonated with you, listen to the full episode:
“Relationship Anarchy and Investing in the Way You Love with Sarah Wolfer.”
We talk about somatic therapy, neurodivergence, and what it means to define love and wealth on your own terms.
🎧 Listen to episode 129 of the Unicorn Millionaire Podcast on Spotify here
🎧 Listen to episode 129 of the Unicorn Millionaire Podcast on Apple Podcasts here
About Sarah Wolfer
Sarah Wolfer (she/they) is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker (LICSW) with her own private practice, Courageous You, that is based out of Seattle WA, and serving clients in Washington, Idaho, and Florida via telehealth. Graduating with a Master of Social Work (MSW) in 2012, they have spent the first half of their career in social services and community mental health settings as a mental health professional, clinical supervisor, and program manager, and the latter half thriving in private practice.
Sarah specializes in working with LGBTQIA+, non-monogamous, kinky, and neurodivergent individuals and relationships, and she identifies with these communities herself. They embrace the identities of kitchen-table polyamorist, relationship anarchist, and non-binary queer person.
Their practice incorporates a variety of therapeutic modalities; initially focused on cognitive approaches like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and trauma-focused CBT in the first half of her career, and since starting her own private practice in 2020, Sarah has embraced more somatic work and psychedelic-assisted therapy. They currently offer psychotherapy, relationship therapy, Somatic EMDR therapy, and ketamine-assisted therapy tailored specifically for queer and non-monogamous clients. You can find out more about Sarah at CourageousYouTherapy.com.
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About Charly
I’m Charly Stoever (@travelercharly) — a nonbinary Latinx money coach, speaker, and host of the Unicorn Millionaire Podcast. I help LGBTQ+, BIPOC, and first-gen folks crush debt and build a six-figure retirement—even without a six-figure salary.
As a formerly undocumented Mexican American and ex-stockbroker who’s traveled solo to 39 countries, I now coach full-time while also international pet sitting.
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