In November of 2021, I met Honey when I was living in Playa del Carmen. I connected with my fellow Virgo immediately and love how open she is about plant medicine and healing. She shares all about her experience in not one, but TWO ayahuasca ceremonies she participated in during her time in Mexico, and she also talks about what it was like traveling to Mexico as a black woman.
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Episode 6 – Ayahuasca with Honey Bruja
Podcast Transcript Below
Charly: Welcome to the Unicorn Millionaire Podcast. I’m your host, Charly Stoever. I’m a non-binary Latinx money coach, helping first gen clients become millionaires. I’m a formerly undocumented Mexican American and currently digital nomad traveling all over the worlds. Super excited to have you here along with me on my journey. I talk about personal finance, money, mindset, twerking, unicorns, rainbows, you name it. We’re here, we’re queer, and we are going to build wealth for ourselves and our communities.
Charly: All right. Welcome Honey. It’s so good to see you. I’m really excited to have you here on the Unicorn Millionaire Podcast. Today we’re gonna be talking about plant medicine, specifically ayahuasca, which I’ve never done before. I’ve done mushrooms, that I am so excited to hear your story, and I know that so many other people out here are chismosos, and they’re curious too, about the ayahuasca experience that you had.
But before we talk about all that, Why don’t you go ahead and introduce yourself and your business and anything you wanna.
Honey: Hello, my name is Honey Bruja. I am out of, uh, the Dallas area, Texas. Um, I have a business, it’s adorn by honey. I sell waste beads and spiritual items. I am into really, really being conscious about who you are, self love. And not judging people, but doing the inner work and identifying who you are as a person. That’s me. I love that.
Charly: It’s eternal work. That never stops
Honey: It never stops.
It never stops if anybody tells you it stops. Mm-hmm. or that they’re healed, period. No. Yeah. Yeah. That means you’re no longer here. I can’t, I don’t know what happens on the other side.
Charly: So yeah we met in Playa del Carmen when I was living there. And why don’t you talk about what took you from Texas to playa?
Honey: I was, um, actually having a mental, uh, breakdown, if that’s how you wanna put it.
I was questioning life, like what? What am I here for? I was bored. I just didn’t know what, what options I had in life. And at the time, my therapist, the AF Afro, Afro Buddha, she lived in Playa del Carmen. So we had a session on a Monday, but the Thursday prior was 11.11. 2021, and those numbers were just so significant to me.
So I decided to do this manifesting technique called the two Cup Method. And so just a quick synopsis of what it is. You get a cup, you write down your fears, your things that, um, your insecurities. And I use Styrofoam cups. So you need two cups, um, one cup. Uh, you write all of those fears and you put water in the cup.
And you let it sit. And then on the second cup you write the total opposite of what those fears are. And on the second cup I wrote, go to Mexico. So after the water sits in the first cup, let’s call it the negative cup, you pour it into the second cup, which is the positive cup, and then you speak affirmations into the water.
Uh, and then you drink. And then you just go on about your life. So then that Monday came and I had a session with Val, I call her Val, but the afro Buddha. She, we, uh, video Zoom and as soon as she hit the camera, I’m just crying. I’m crying, and she’s like, what’s wrong? What’s wrong? My real name is Ramona, but she calls me Mona, Mona.
And I was just like, I just, I’m over it. I don’t, I don’t wanna be here anymore. And she said, Don’t you come to Mexico. She’s like, I’m leaving for six weeks. My place is gonna be empty. Um, and at the time I was working and she said, do you have a passport? I said, yes, I have a passport. No stamps. You know, I got it in 2019.
2020 was gonna be my traveling year. But we know. What happened with the world in 2020? So she told me that was that Monday, the following Wednesday, I was in Mexico. I don’t speak the language. I didn’t know what I, my niece kept my dog and stayed here in my apartment and I was just ready to experience life.
So that’s how I end up in Mexico. The following Tuesday. I got invited out to Taco Tuesday and I’m sitting there and people are coming and it’s just, the vibe was just so real. And I remember sitting next to y’all and we were talking and y’all said, I’m a Virgo. And after that, cuz I’m a Virgo, I was like, oh yeah.
I was like my Virgo ass. Yay. And so we have been thick as thieves since then.
Charly: And you showed me photos of your birthday.
Honey: Oh yeah. I had a birthday party, um, in October, October 9th, but my birthday is September. Um, but I couldn’t get the venue until then and um, I threw myself a, cuz I didn’t get to celebrate my 50th 51st or 52nd birthday.
So I threw a party all combined in one and yeah, we turned up. We turned up
Charly: Now that I’m processing that, something that I admire in you is that you’re not afraid to celebrate yourself, even if it’s like two years later.
Honey: Hey you’re still here. You might as well.
Charly: Which is something that I’ve been working on one of my major projects this year, other than business.
Podcast and the blog and all this is just literally taking time to acknowledge all that I’ve done and to celebrate myself. But you also don’t need an excuse all the time to celebrate you. You can celebrate life. Every day can just be a celebration, and that’s a thing that you taught me.
Honey: Yeah. I say plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
Amen. Yeah. I’m like, I need to be. If they bring them, they’ll just be extra flowers for you. Just gonna already have yours.
Charly: Mm-hmm. I’m like, I wanna be the person that I’m trying to attract. So who am I to ask for somebody that has all these things if I’m not willing to put in the work Yeah. To better myself.
So I love that.
Charly: Yeah and when did ayahuasca come in? Have you done ayahuasca before? What was that like?
Honey: I had never done ayahuasca before. I only had heard about it from my, uh, former boyfriend. And when I got there, I, I mentioned to, uh, the Afro Buddha. I was like, there’s this ceremony that happens in the jungle.
I didn’t even really remember the name of it. And, um, so she was like, yeah, I have a person who puts those ceremonies together. And she reached out to the person, the person happened to not be in Mexico at the time she was in LA. So she was like, well, she can’t do it for you right now. So she’s like, let’s put on this documentary about it.
But I fell asleep and every time I would wake up when it was time for the eye wash to part, I would fall asleep. So, I took it as my spirit guides, did not want me to get any preconceived ideas about what the ceremony was gonna be about. So I went online and I searched and searched and searched and I could not find the ceremony.
And then I went to a, um, I guess we, the day we went to that speakeasy thing, uh, do you remember we got there and they were like clapping cuz it was. By the time you and I found it. Oh yeah.
Charly: It was like an open mic and I was like, I’m late for the first time and it’s over. Like I’m actually late.
Honey: Right. And so I met, um, the girl actually.
She was talking about the ceremony and she gives me the number of a lady who was doing it. And just so happened it was the same lady who, uh, the Afro Buddha had referred me to, had come back to Mexico. So I immediately reached out and I scheduled, and she sent me all the information about what to eat, what to well, where we’re going to meet, you know, how much it costs and everything.
And I went into it without asking questions because I, like I said, I didn’t want to. Have any preconceived ideas of in here about somebody else’s experience. So we end up, you know, I was just interested in doing it, you know, she explained to me how, uh, one session of ayahuasca is like 15 years of therapy.
Charly: That’s how these psychedelics work.
Honey: Yeah. You want me to keep going about that?
Charly: Yeah. So you actually did it twice cuz you’re a baller like that. Why don’t you walk us through the experience the first time. Like, cause in playa del carmen there’s a lot of ceremonies. There’s like cayote, it’s pretty normal to do them.
I’ve personally never really done psychedelic, really knew anything about them other than that they were like a 1970s party drug. But then I tried mushroom. For the first time in Mexico because it’s just more normal there and it’s part of the indigenous culture. And ayahuasca I believe it’s Peruvian from the Amazon, but they still have ceremonies there in playa, so it’s just a lot more normal to do them there.
That’s just like what you do out there. So can you tell us about your first experience, what that was like?
Honey: Yeah. So what, what’s, um, first, uh, the Afro Buddha suggested I do mushroom, but my spirit guy said, no, we want you to do ayahuasca. Right? So we met at the grocery store by that McDonald’s, you know.
Yeah, there we go. And we, they, we all got on the van, and we drove to the jungle and when we got there, there’s this, like, we retreat in the middle of the jungle and um, they, there was a shaman there and we all went into the temple. And you pick your, you bring your pillows, you bring your blankets, and you have a very strict diet a couple of days prior.
They tell you there are four things you’re gonna do. You’re gonna cry, you’re gonna last, you’re gonna purge. So they give you a bucket and you’re also going, your, your bowels are going to be loose, but you are more conscious to be able to get up and go to the restroom. So you’re not gonna have that issue.
It’s not like you’re just gonna be sitting there and going on yourself, right? So we went out and we got in the circle and the shaman gave us. It was almost like a sermon at church. We were listening to him talk about the earth and about love, and it, that part lasted about an hour and then we all sat down in front of, they have people there to guide you through the process, who don’t do the medicine, but to make sure you’re okay while you’re under the, the medicine.
So they do this thing called rappe. And they take a pipe and they blow this tobacco through each nostril to open up your pioneer gland and it, it burns your eyes. And, and that’s the gland.
Charly: It has to do with spirituality, right?
Honey: Yes. Okay. It’s in your, your third eye. Mm-hmm. . And then we all went into the temple and they told us to relax.
Um, then one by one, they called us down to the front and gave us the medicine. And then they told us just to go back and lay down and just, you know, you know, chill. And they, I’m laying there and I’m like, man, I don’t feel anything , but, and, and, I guess, I don’t know. I woke up , I guess I had fallen asleep and I woke up to the sound of the most beautiful music.
They had this group there that played these instruments that just made you move. I was moving and didn’t, unconsciously, consciously, if that makes sense. I was aware, but my body was moving almost as if I was a belly dancer. Mm-hmm. And then the trip started. It was one of the most beautiful experiences that I have ever had in my 52 years on Earth.
I, I talked to myself. I, I, I cried a lot, and I had my bucket, and I purged. And a lot of people are like, well, I don’t wanna throw up. I don’t wanna do that. Then you’re not ready. No. Yeah, , you’re not ready. And one of the things I think helped me was that I had, I had done a lot of healing work for years before I went into this.
Now I’m not saying that that’s what everybody needs to do, but I think that you should go into it with your. Experience with your own, [00:14:00] don’t go in talking to 50 different people. Cause I’m gonna give y’all some information about it, but I’m not going to go that deep. Cause I don’t want you people to say, well this is what I’m going to experience when I go cause it.
Mm-hmm. can be totally different, you know, so, It, um, they played this music and they, they burnt these, I just smelled these aromas and the images that I saw and the colors and, and then, you know, they call it sitting before Mama IA because the plant that makes Aya WASA is a female plant. So that was that part of it.
Yeah, so. You want me to keep going? We, I dunno like what life? So I’m, I’m laying there. I would lay back down and the music would just be playing. And I had a cousin that recently passed away in 2020 and all of a sudden I felt her. I felt her energy so close, but I did not see her, and I just kept calling her name, kept calling her name, and she came and held my hands and we held hands and I told her I loved her and I missed her.
And she told me that everything was, everything was beautiful where she was. And she was good and happy, and she gave me a message to give to her older sister and her younger. And then she said, I have to go, Mona. She always called me Mona, I have to go, Mona, I have to go. And I said, please just gimme five more minutes.
And she did. I don’t know if in real what time, you know, if it was five minutes in our clock time or spiritual time. And then she disappeared and then I fell back to sleep. And then I woke up and I was sitting before Mama. And I was a little ded, so I felt not a disrespectful or abusive slap, but you know how they kinda slap you to kinda wake you up.
Yeah. And I looked and I was sitting before the most beautiful spirit and. She looked at me and then she grabbed my face, like cuffed my face and she looked at me. And then one thing about me, I don’t have any children. I’m not going to have any children. Same. Um, and I am the last leg of whatever DNA created me as far back as we go.
But we, and she said to me, she said, you’re very special to us. We, we may not know. We started, but we know where we’re ending. And you are the final DNA of this leg, and your ancestors are here to meet you. Mm-hmm. . And then I remember standing up, putting on a yellow is my favorite color. And I put on this pale yellow dress with, with, um, white lace.
And I walk through this door and if anyone has ever seen this movie called Antoine Fisher, When he meets his family for the first time, he walks through this door and everybody was there clapping, and that’s what I experienced. Mm-hmm. . It was almost like I walked on the stage and everybody who had part of my DNA was there, faces I didn’t recognize.
Some faces I did. Mm-hmm. and they were clapping for me and hugging me and it was just like, oh my God, how beautiful instance. And. So special and so loved. And after that I went back and said, before Mama Ia. And she said, you have to get your ego in check. And I was like, I don’t have a ego right there, , right.
Sign number one. She said, you, it’s about love. It’s about love, you know? So I remember my stomach at this time. It’s just rumbling. Oh my God. It is rumbling. And this is about two hours, three hours into the. And, uh, let me just go back the time we got there at about 6:00 PM so it’s like all night. All night.
Yeah. This is an overnight thing in the middle of the jungle. Mm-hmm. . So when I would open my eyes to get ready to go to the restroom, it was a no, because everything was sideways. So I was like, what if I would’ve flagged them down? They would’ve come over and escorted me. But I, I was able to hold it a little longer.
And so the next trip was just, they, they opened, they call it opening the door if you want another, uh, shot of the medicine. But I was like, nah, , I’m, I’m Gucci , not . So, um, the next thing I know, my one, my stepsister, she had, uh, committed suicide in. Around the same time my cousin Frida passed. Mm-hmm. . And she was there crying to me and I told her, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were in distress like that.
I wish I could have been there. She gave me a message to give to her mother. And so, um, and the rest of it is just seeing so many different things and talk. I talked to myself and I forgave myself for so many things that. Allowed in my life. Mm-hmm. and I was actually, um, I was in a relationship with somebody who wasn’t in a relationship with me, for three years.
I kept waiting and hoping and wishing and praying. And so one of the things I went into Eye Watch to do was to release that person and they told me, They said, it’s not time yet. And I’m like, wait, [00:20:00] what? . And they said, the eye waka may not give you what you want, but it would give you what you need.
And I didn’t understand. I was like, this person is not good for me, this person. And they said, it’s not that he does not want you, that he cannot have. It’s not him ignoring you, it’s us running interference because mm-hmm. that person. It’s not, he’s not a bad person. It’s just not who we have for you.
When it’s time to let go, you will. So the, the, the ceremony kept, it kept going and they’re playing this beautiful music and they’re singing in a language that I’ve never heard of, and I finally get up and go to the restroom. And as I’m walking, I’m like, a week ago or two weeks ago, I was in my apartment in Dallas, sad crying.
Now I’m in the middle of the fucking jungle , where it looks like apocalypse, where the, uh, the, the, the greenery and everything was just, I was waiting for Jaguar Paul to just pop up in his eyes. . Then it started to rain and I’m just standing in the jungle, A girl from Texas, a black girl from Texas in the middle of this jungle.
Um, and I’m just like, what, what would people think if they knew I was in the middle of the jungle on this medicine? Mm-hmm. experience in life in a way that I never knew was possible. So I finally used the restroom and on my way back I run into the lady who or who. Um, her name is Shannon Amos, and if you look her up, uh, it’s the official Shannon Amos.
She, she plans to ayahuasca the fair in, um, She stopped me and she said, how are you? And I said, mama AA told me, my ego, she said, she told me my ego too, . So we gotta work on our egos. Yeah. So by, by this time it’s about four in the morning and it’s still just pouring down rain. And I go back and I lay back in my spot and I fall asleep again.
And the, the, it’s just the same thing. You see so many different shapes and colors and, uh, people just look like statues and you, you know, you’re blinking like, what am I seeing? Because even though you are under the influence, you are still conscious. Yeah. So it’s, you know, you’re still aware to a level. Um, I could hear other people purging pretty.
It didn’t bother me because that’s not what you’re there for. It’s all about going within mm-hmm. and they, they take you with this music, the whole six to eight hours, they’re playing this music and they’re take, they don’t stop. They’re taking you on this journey and you could feel them take you from the beginning through the middle, and as they start to wake you back.
You know, the music changing and I’m thinking this is still going on , you know, and, and then, um, the music gets a little upbeat and then you, you actually wake up and you’re singing and dancing, like they invite you to the middle of the floor to dance. And, um, it’s just a spiritual celebration of releasing of so much trauma and things like that.
Charly: That’s what these psychedelics do, the trauma that’s stored in your body for decades, until you reprogram it, it’s gonna stay there. And that’s what psychedelics help you do. And like you said, they give you what you need, not what you want.
Honey: And sometimes the things you think you want, you don’t need. Yes.
Cause I thought, I think that I would, I have a lot of daddy. Like a lot of us do same. Um, and my daddy wasn’t there. and I did what I thought would get him there. And then once I sat back and looked at that connection that I had with that person, I was doing the exact same thing. Mm-hmm. . So even though I had already, I was aware of that years ago, but I didn’t know how to break it.
And even all the therapy and all the cycles of, uh, letting go, going back, letting go, going back, I still hadn’t released it. And I thought, You know, what, what am I doing wrong? What is wrong with me? Maybe if I say this, maybe if I try this, maybe if I do my hair like this, maybe if I text them this and I, and, and they’re just, I could just see my spirit guys looking at me like, girl would you, you know, but, Eventually, um, the, after that ceremony was over, they give you fruit, they give you oranges and papaya.
Honey: It’s probably about 4:00 AM. 5:00 AM Okay. And so we, um, they, you get the, the van comes back and takes you back. They actually drop me off at home cause I’m like, y’all look, I don’t, I don’t speak a good language, and I can’t get back to where I was. So they drop me back off where I was staying and, um, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t, I was up.
I was so up. So, uh, it was about a 12 hour. Adventure starting about six, and I got home the next morning at six and I was so hyped and just so in love with the whole ceremony that I, um, I did it again.
Charly: And in love with yourself, right? These psychedelics make you feel in love with yourself.
Honey:. Oh, the love they kept saying, it’s about love.
It’s about love. And so what I did to check my ego, to check my ego, I had to start letting people off the hook. We want people, we think people should do a certain thing a certain way. And we think from that perspective, or I was thinking from that perspective because if they did it this way and that way, it would make me happy.
So who’s ego is being fed? And when they don’t do it and you get mad at them because they don’t do what you think they should do, Then it causes all this turmoil within yourself and you start questioning yourself. Well, why? So if I let you off the hook and just accept what you bring, as long as it’s respectful, um, and accepts you for who you are.
Because one thing I know, there’s no manual to life. We have a manual to our computer, manual to our car, manual to our phone, but there’s no manual how to, uh, navigate through life. And so our egos to me are our protection in such a defensive way that, you know, if you don’t call me, I’m not gonna call you.
You know, that kind of thing. Without saying, well, maybe this person isn’t calling because they’re going through some things. So it also, you, you become a little more compassionate. I did, but in the same token, protecting myself. It’s a lot. Yeah.
Charly: You started establishing boundaries like right after that.
Honey: I did. And you’re like, actually, don’t wanna tolerate this anymore. Yeah, I did. I did. I, I, I really, I went, I, even though I did that first session with ayahuasca, I just felt like there was more that I needed to, to do, you know, as go deeper within. Because I started journaling and I started, um, just acknowledging different relationships with that I had with people.
And I started looking at what part did I play? Not looking at what part they played. Well, will this person did this to me? Well, what part did you play? Did you allow this person, did you ignore the red flag? Did you ignore the red flags that you know that this person showed you?
So you ignored the red flag and still went in and this person still did what they did. Why are you blaming them when you saw the red flag? Like accountability. That’s a very big part of healing. Is being accountable. Every situation you’re accountable. And that ego is like, but they did me wrong. But you gotta learn to silence that and say, okay, they may have done me wrong, but I gave them the tools.
Yeah. And, and, and it’s like, I’m not telling you to blame yourself, but be accountable and it, and when you become accountable, you become powerful. You take your power.
Charly: And I love what you said about forgiving yourself too. Okay. I’ve been doing these forgiveness meditations, forgiving everybody, my mom, dad, brother, exes.
And then I was telling you I was doing that and you’re like, have you forgiven yourself? And I was like, oh shit. You’re right. I need to do that too. And that’s really helped me. Cause you hold on to resentment from things that you decided to do sometimes, like you said, even when you know better, when you see the red.
I’m just like believe people when they show you who they are the first time and don’t expect people to change, which is something I do. I think that you related to this too, is that we fall in love with the potential of people as Virgos and see people as like projects of like, oh yeah, I’m here now. We can fix all of this, but that hurts relationships because I’m not present and I don’t pay attention to the signs that are good and bad for.
And the relationship, and it just idealize this person that’s not even in front of me and what they can do.
Honey: Right. Right. And one of my nicknames is Mona Fly, and the fly stands for First Love Yourself. First, love yourself. It’s almost like when you’re on the airplane and they tell you, put the mask on you first and then help anybody you know, because if you help them and you don’t help yourself first, you’re not gonna be a benefit to anybody.
You’re not gonna be, you’re not going to, uh, be able to save anybody if you can’t save yourself. So, Um, about three weeks after that ceremony, I’m at a pool party living my best life in Playa del Carmen. And there was a lady who was, um, introducing herself to everybody. And she comes up to me and she says, my name is Connie.
And I said, my name is Honey. And she said, where do I know you from? And I was like, I’ve never met you. But for some reason I was very popular in class. And she said your name is in a, um, a WhatsApp group and there was a WhatsApp group for the ayahuasca, and she said, Oh, I said, oh yeah, I was in that group.
She said, and I said, oh my God, that was the best experience ever. And I said, Shannon and Shannon’s assistant or a partner, his name is Momo. And she, I said, Momo was amazing. She said, I’m on the phone, uh, talking to him now. I was like, I wanna do another ceremony. She said, there’s one Saturday. So I jumped on it.
I went to a different location. Um, But it was still the same people playing the music. It was basically the same group, just in a different, um, area. Mm-hmm. and this time with ayahuasca it was a, so it was even more peaceful than the first time. So I took the medicine, I did the repay.
I think I, I don’t know. Yeah, that’s the tobacco that they blow in your nose. And this particular location is owned via Afro-Latina. Oh, and I can’t say her name. I mean, I can’t pronounce her name, put it that, mm-hmm. . I can say her name. I follow her on Instagram. Beautiful. And there were not any, there were really no other people that looked like me that was at the ceremony.
So somehow she gravitated. Towards me, and she took me and gave me a tour of this is where she lives, but she also allows the ceremonies to be p performed at. So she’s very spiritual and she does the mushroom ceremony. Oh, she took me and showed me a picture of her altar, well, not a picture, a picture on her altar, which was her spiritual mother.
She said she trained under her for 20 years, and the mother wanted a place like this. And so I went and I did the medicine and one thing that stuck out, stuck out for me is I went to the restroom and when I came back and I was washing my hands, I felt someone looking at me. And I’m facing the mirror and I feel someone looking at me and I look up and it’s my reflection, just smiling at me, , and I smiled back at myself and it, that was the most beautiful experience of both of those ceremonies.
So I went back and I sat down and I heard, mama, I say, when you were in America? No, in usa you were crying because you said no one saw. And she said, it wasn’t that no one saw you, you didn’t see yourself. Mm-hmm. and I just showed you, you Mm.
And when I tell you the tears started and I’m like, one of the ladies, her name is Barbara, she was at the first ceremony and the second one, uh, she comes over to me and she just hugs me. and she just, it’s about the love, honey. It’s about the love. And I just, I, I just fell in love with the whole experience. I suggest that everyone tries it. I think that it, the way they demonize it, the way they demonize L S D growing up.
The after school special where the girl takes the acid and jumps off the building and then gets up and run. I’m like, so does it make you into a superhero or does it make you crazy? Like, and they put this fear into mushrooms. Like I still have a. A stigma about mushroom. Mm, I do. I don’t know why, but because it was so planted in me, but yet I jump and do the eye wash, right?
Go figure. But I still have a, I get anxious and I’ve, to me, until I get calm within. I feel like there’s too much anxiety, which I’m working on getting over those stigmas. Mm-hmm. , but I’m 52 going against 52 years of hearing the negative about something. Mm-hmm. and you just, and if you say, well, I can go from zero to 60 in a lot of areas I can, but growing up in a Christian church household until I was 44 and walked away from the religion. We’re not, I’m not even 10 years in deep of not being a Christian. Yeah. So I still have a lot of Christian hang up that, you know, I’m still dealing with. So mushrooms are on my list.
Charly: So many gems you’re dropping
Honey: Thank you.
Well, one of the things Shannon told me was that when you get back home, the ayahuasca is going to still affect you. Not so much as the being under the drug, but when you go into your meditation and Mama Aya is gonna show up to you. She’s going to show up to you and it’s almost like a check in, like, what’s going on?
How are you doing? So when I got back, I’m very much into my ancestors, into spirit guides, and listening to what they tell me to do. And they gave me three things to do. They said, change your telephone numbers, shave your head and go work out and yeah, so it took me a minute to do it, but first I changed my number and then I shaved my head, shaved all my hair off.
Cause I felt like I was holding so much trauma in my hair. Cause my hair is so powerful. You know, I have four C hair. I know you know what that means, but it’s very coarse and it sticks up like antennas to the universe. and when all of the trauma over the last couple of years that I encountered, um, was it, it holds it like the electricity.
So that’s why I shaved my head. My hair is gonna grow back. Yes. But it’s going back under a renewed, uh, sense And I actually went into a very deep hermit mode where I changed my number and only a few people got my number. Mm-hmm. and I. Deliberately stayed in the house and cut off all connection with people to go deeper within myself and to even form a deeper bond with myself.
It was just me, myself, and Delilah, which is my little mini schnauzer. I would walk her, I would order my groceries to be delivered. I like literally never left the house. And the thing about it is I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t depressed, I was in rest mode. Yeah, because I have been working since I was 14 in survival mode, and so my spirit, God said you, since you’re representing all the legs of your dna, You are the one that gets to rest.
Yes. So you’re not only resting for you, you’re resting for us, you’re resting for your grandmother who was amazed, have a chance to go rest. You’re resting for the people who had to work in the field and never knew that there would be a day that someone in their bloodline. Can live in a very nice apartment, drive a nice car and be, you know, a nice person and get to lay down and get up when they want to get to own a business, get to roam the world the way.
So you are representing us and we are proud of you. And that’s just these, these are the, when you listen to those voices, the voices that they told you not to listen to mm-hmm. , listen to those. Have conversation. Talk. Talk to yourself. It’s okay. You’re not crazy and sometimes, so what is crazy? Mm-hmm. whose definition, you know, when you start redefining yourself under your term, it’s a powerful thing.
Charly: Yeah. And I think it’s so powerful that you just decided to leave the US and you had a passport and went there and you’re like, oh, I’m not the only black woman in Playa. There’s a lot of black people going there. So what was it like being a black woman outside of the US and in Mexico?
Did you feel more free? Like not being profiled by police did not feel the tension. I just feel like it’s so important to talk about how you felt there.
Honey: I felt like I was home. I felt so connected to Mexico than I have ever felt connected here in America, and I could literally walk down the street without being, without feeling like, well, first of all, it’s not a big space.
I mean, it is a big space, but here in Dallas, You can’t really just walk to the store. Yeah. Car. And so, yeah, so it was, I was able to get a lot of steps in and I was able to just walk around and see the culture and I saw so many couples.
Holding hands. I saw love in a different way. I saw family. There’s this story I tell all the time. There’s a, there was a street right behind where I lived, right by Coco Bongo, and I used to go there some nights and just sit on the bench. There was a family, the man, it was like a petty cab. He had the bike and in the front it would be his wife and his two kids, and I would see them every night and that was their transportation and they would be going, They were so happy.
Like I was so in love with the happiness that they had with the things that they have in America. You know, they would be shunned, oh, look how they live. But I love the fact that they were. And I say America, usa. Um, they, I was so in love with how they had their life and people in Mexico are not packing vans and cars and trucks trying to get to the usa.
Maybe the Board of Cities, but I did not hear anybody or see anybody come up to me and say, how can, can I get back to America, to North America with you? Can I come? They were happy. They were content, they were living their lives. They were riding the buses, driving cabs, and uh, one of my friends was like, yeah, in Mexico they only pay $2 an hour.
And I said, where did you get that from? Mexico has a minimum wage. And also Mexico has 31 states. But in, when you’re taught in usa, they just say Mexico. They don’t tell you that. There are like America has 50 states. They don’t tell you these things. They demonize it. The cartel is gonna get you, what are they gonna get for?
They will bring me back because I have questions like, what are we gonna eat? Where we, what time we getting back? I have questions. They’d be like, no, we don’t want honey. Let’s take her back. So the police. They patrol, they ride around in those trucks with their mask and their guns, and y’all know how I felt about them.
Every time I saw em, I was flirt with them.
So I think that everyone should get a passport. First of all, get a passport and go see for your. More people were while I was in Mexico texting me. When are you coming home? What are you doing? How long are you gonna be there? Six weeks turned into two months. And when I got home, do you know none of those people have text me?
None of those people have called me. None of them have reached out. Are you okay? You. I was like, okay, you just knew that I was living my best life and it disturbed you because you weren’t, you needed me to come back and be in a place. What’s comfortable for you? So I tell, I tell mostly everybody I meet about the ayahuasca ceremonies.
I have a group of people who want to do the ceremony. And I, um, I’m getting in touch with Shannon so we can put something together. Maybe it’ll, it’ll be in 2023 where, you know, and the people that I went through the ceremony with were so trustworthy, so legitimate they, they took care of you..
They talked you through it. I saw people around me who were having, having, they were struggling with it or whatever they were experiencing. They would go and hold their hands and sand them and, you know, make sure that they didn’t lose it. You know, some of the stories that people tell or screaming and all of that.
I didn’t hear it in my. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. But if a person is screaming, let them, that has nothing to do with you and your journey. Mm-hmm. . So I suggest that everyone tries some psychedelic and get in touch with that inner step. Cause we’re beautiful, we’re beautiful beings, we’re beautiful.
You know, um, you, you start looking at people from a different perspective. For instance, my mother had something very traumatic happen to her when she was 20 in her early twenties. And the other day we were speaking about it and it changed my perspectives on she never got therapy for it. Mm-hmm. . And it was, it was horrific.
She never got therapy for it. She never and she was very, very, and I told her you were very mean growing up, especially to my sisters. I told her and she said, I’m sorry, I didn’t know any better and that’s letting people off the hook because they didn’t know any better. They didn’t know about therapy, especially in the black community.
Yeah. Therapy. You don’t go tell those white people your problem. Whatever goes on in this stays in this house.
She’s like, you were the first one in our family to get into therapy. And so I’ve had several therapists over the years. I am without a therapist right now because my therapist, the Afro Buddha, had told me we’re gonna eventually become friends and I can’t be your therapist anymore. But we’re still, we’re, we’re still friends.
We’re still friends. I don’t use that word. Everybody is not called my friend, but I can call them. I can call her. And have a conversation with her about anything. She said she had been doing therapy so long that she needed a break, so she grooming me to get my life coaching together because I think I’m pretty good.
Charly: Yes. I’m so,
so excited for you and all of your future endeavors. I appreciate you. So much for being so vulnerable and sharing your experience. Some people might never try ayahuasca or might have mental health issue. It might not antidepressants or aren’t able to physically take psychedelics too. So just sharing your experience, I know is, is gonna help people so much.
At least understand something that is slowly being destigmatized. Slowly. Yeah. Yeah. Is, are there any final words you’d like to share? With us.
Honey: Yeah. So another thing like Mama IA just says is the love. Let people off the hook. Let people off the hook, because by letting them off the hook, you do release a lot of your anxiety, you know, telling people how they should be and how, how they should move in life without giving them a manual that you don’t even have it’s a little more free.
It’s a, you know, of course people do some things that are not nice, but what happened to them? I mean, it’s like a compassion thing. I’m not saying just be vulnerable and let people walk all, all over you. That is not what I would ever tell anybody. But you can show compassion from distance.
Because a lot of the people that I used to deal with and I no longer deal with, I’m not mad at them. I wish them peace, love, and happiness over there, in their space. You know, I want them to prosper. I want us all to prosper. I want us to enjoy. Earth is beautiful. There’s the thing saying Earth is ghetto.
Earth. Earth is beautiful . We don’t get to enjoy it the way the universe put it to for us to enjoy. So I just say, Take your time and be gentle with yourself. Mm-hmm. , love yourself, laugh with yourself. Be kind to yourself. It’s, and, and, and I have a friend now and he always says things to himself, I’m so stupid, I’m so dumb.
And I was like, you know, the way you speak to yourself, it makes me sad for you. I’m like, so let’s take those words and let’s change them. Let’s put in a different feel word. I told them when I make a mistake, I’ll say, girl, I love you. You’re so funny. You know, just randomly through the day, I’ll be like, I love you alone. I love you too.
Charly: These are the things that, that’s how I talk to myself on mushrooms, where I’ll be like, I love you mushrooms. And they’re like, we love you too. I love myself.
Honey: And I do this not on mushrooms. So online and offline. Yes. Just being, being true to yourself. Take and take it easy. We all are going through something, something.
It could be good or bad or whatever, but, and go within. Go within. You’re we’re all beautiful within, we’re all. To be, we’re spiritual beings. You know, and so first, love yourself.
Charly: I love it. Thank you so much. I love you so much. You’re my chosen family. You’re my spiritual mother. I appreciate you and I’m so happy that we’re still in touch, even though we’re not physically in Mexico.
I feel you. In the spiritual realm always.
Honey: Yes, yes, yes, yes. Can I tell a story? One more story? Okay, so before I went to Mexico, I was watching, I don’t know, something and I saw a non, a non-binary person and I was like I don’t know any non-binary people. Hey universe I want to meet a nonbinary person so I can understand how to interact and how to honor who they are, right? At that Taco Tuesday that, uh, y’all told me that y’all were non-binary and you go by they and them, or they, and I was like, oohh are you serious. I was so excited that I got a chance that I have a chance to honor somebody who is honoring who they.
I think that that is just the most in this world to say, Hey, this is who I am. This is what I go by and stand firm in that. It’s just amazing. So I, I purposely make sure that when I speak about y’all, I say they and them.
And they’re like, they’ll try to correct me. And I’m like, no, it’s they or them. Well, I don’t understand. Nobody asked you to understand It is a respect thing because I think that, you know, me being 52, I was raised with he, she only. So the challenge of, of learning to acknowledge that there’s more than that and honoring it. I feel so blessed to have y’all in my life as well. My spiritual child that I never birthed. Cause I dunno nothing about birthing babies.
Charly: Same, our lineage ends with us, but we can still heal our lineages by healing ourselves. I’m so grateful for you. Thank you so much for sharing all this in your journey.
I’m super excited for this episode to go out and, and, yes, Adored by Honey. Honey, get the waist feeds all the jewelry, and I’m so excited for you to start your life coaching
Honey:. Yes, and I am on Instagram at Honey Bruja 69. Yeah, well I was about to give you my email address, Honey Bruja 69 and it’s 69 because that was the year I was born.
Get your mind out of the gutter. That disclaimer there. But, uh, I’m also Honey Bruja. Um, honey and Sweet like Sugar. She got her own flavor.
Charly: I’m so here for it. Thank you so much, Honey. We love you.
Honey: Love you.