Episode 18- My Experience at the Dinah Shore Queer Festival
Each year, the Dinah Shore festival is the largest lesbian and nonbinary party in the world that happens in Palm Springs, California. I go every year, and this was my 4th time going. I share my experience as well as financial planning for the rest of the year before heading off to Taiwan.
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Episode 18 – My Experience at the Dinah Shore Queer Festival
Podcast Transcript Below
Hello everybody. Welcome to the Unicorn Millionaire Podcast. I’m your host, Charly Stoever. I’m a non-binary Latinx money coach, helping my first gen clients become millionaires. I’m a formerly undocumented Mexican American and currently digital nomad traveling all over the worlds. Super excited to have you here along with me on my journey. I talk about personal finance, money, mindset, twerking, unicorns, rainbows, you name it. We’re here. We’re queer, and we are going to build wealth for ourselves and our communities.
Today I’m gonna talk about my experience at the Dinah Shore Queer festival in Palm Springs, California that just happened. If you’ve not been living under a rock following my IG or friends with me on Facebook or are on my email list or on my Twitter, basically if you’re on my chart, Charly verse, you’ve seen the amazing pool party photos and the four nights of partying.
It was so much fun. And this was actually my fourth Dinah experience. The first time I went to was in 2018, I believe. We had to, of course, skip a year during Covid, but the first year I went, it was right after my top surgery. Um, and I was really nervous about appearing in public without a shirt on. At the time, I still.
Really naked. So I think that I was very nervous going, but I remember just being so fit. I can’t believe that my first Dinah experience, I would still go running in the morning. Now I’m like, how the fuck did I do that? I dunno. No. Oh. Because this ish is intense. It’s like a four day dancing marathon and it’s in the desert.
Like it gets to be a hundred degrees every day. Even though we’re in the pool, like there’s not too much shade. It’s just a lot. But it’s so fun to just go to that every year and every year is a different experience. But I wanted to talk about how. How interesting this, this years’ experience was like before.
I definitely would fly in all the time. Even though I don’t live in California, I’ve made it a priority to go to Dinah and meet up with friends who mostly live in LA for the festival and literally just fly Palm Springs, for that and go on my merry way because there’s no experience really like it. I think it’s even better than pride.
More intimate and you meet like the same people who go to the same pool parties and then go to the same dances. Um, yeah, I feel like pride is cool, but you’re in the parade. There’s just so many people. It’s overwhelming, but with the Dinah it’s a little bit more intimate, even though it’s the largest lesbian slash non-binary.
Party in the world. Um, it’s a big deal and I found out about it, uh, in the L word, that old ass show. That was very problematic. But I didn’t know about this festival until I watched that show and I was like, oh, this looks like a lot of fun. Even if you’re not queer, like there’s some straight people who assist, straight people who go just because it’s so fun and it’s pretty safe.
You don’t get those creepy cis men trying to dance up on you and hit on you, um, at these festivals. So I always feel like safe and open and just creative and happy to just dance my butt off, especially after having him been in, in DC which I love my experience in DC. But, uh, in DC it has like a more corporate working go.
Queer feel than in California. Just little subtle differences, like the fact that there’s more gender neutral bathrooms here too. Um, yeah, I love California so much. Um, but yeah, and every year I book my tickets as soon as possible, except last year I was going through a rough breakup and had a lot of self-worth ish.
I was going through, I. Like shit for breaking up with my last, not my last, last second to last ex who was Peruvian. We did a long distance relationship and everything. I really thought I was gonna marry her and all this stuff. And then I broke up with her and I was really freaking depressed. And then, my friend guy was like, just come to Dinah.
Cause at first, I was like, no, it’s too last minute. It’s gonna be too expensive and everything. But then I was like, fuck it. It can only go uphill from here. I deserve to experience joy and happiness. And so I booked my, my pass at the last minute, which this past does not shape. It’s like 300, $350. Early bird discount is still like $250 for the entire pass because just one pool party costs like a hundred dollars.
So it just makes sense to buy the pass, but it’s more than we worth it. It’s an investment in my short term happiness and long term happiness because I’m still feeling the joy and the high several days later as I’m floating back down to earth. And this dimension and processing and creating and drawing a lot and just staying inside, progressing,
Um, but this year when I went, I, I. I think I did a, a payment plan because the thing with payment plans is I’m not all about them if they charge interest, but this year they were like, yeah, we’re gonna have a payment plan for the past. And I just quickly checked, oh, okay, do you charge interest for the payment plan?
And they didn’t. So I just did the payment plan even though I had the cash upfront to pay for it. I’m always all about, um, leveraging debt in smart ways, especially if you don’t pay interest. Like it just makes sense so that I can invest that leftover cash and money instead while I wait. So we all know how always weave my finances in these talks,
It’s never just about shaking it. with all the hotties we talk about the sh money as well. Um, yeah, so I bought my pass at the time I was still living in Playa, but I was just getting over being there. I was there for a year and a half, and it served me in the moment, especially since. Getting my MBA remotely by the beach, it made sense.
But after getting my MBA, I just really did not feel at home in Playa del Carmen anymore, or intellectually stimulated, which is why I went to DC and I ended up spending, uh, the entire summer in dc. I flew from Mexico City to Boston for my tenure Wellesley College reunion in June. And then cuz I’m all about the one way ticket life cuz I can do it and I love the flexibility and I can afford to do it.
I went to DC uh, after my reunion to just hang out with friends and see if I could dog sit there for like a month. And so I was like, well, let me see if I can just dog sit because the companionship is really important to me. And also getting paid to sleep at somebody’s house, like instead of paying for Airbnb and stuff like that.
And just was a no brainer. But a lot of the lessons that I applied from my business, I applied. The dog sitting in DC I, I would reject the very short term gigs. I raised my prices, and I started accepting more long term gigs. So I went from saying no to the 1, 2, 3 day gigs to saying yes to the 10 day gigs that would pay me seven, $800.
Three months later, I’m just doing my tax prep for Sonia who helps me with taxes, and I made, um, $3,800 this summer from dog sitting. Paying for housing and in between I would stay with friends as well too. So shout out to all my friends who are helping, helping me out on this journey too. so, that was really interesting for me to realize that I can make money wherever I go and have fun wherever I go.
So I had a blast in DC hanging out with my friends, going to be atta brunch every Sunday., uh, I feel like that prepared me for China, but betta brunch is still very hetero. Um, I didn’t. Interact in many queer spaces other than going to DC Pride, uh, which was fine. I was nerding out, hanging out with my amazing friends, and then I flew from DC to Dallas to spend time with my friend Honey
If y’all see me still posting about Greg on tap, that’s, that’s where that came from. I only spent three days in Dallas with honey, but we would go out to eat. An exceptionally good restaurant called Kenny’s Wood Fire Grill in Dallas, and they had Gray Goose on top, which Grego to me was like the bougie vodka.
Like, oh, so expensive, but now the more money I make, I’m like, oh no. Gray Go is nice, and I deserve it, and I want to. the nice vodka that doesn’t give me a hangover. Yes, please. So it’s just interesting to watch all this previous self-stuff show up with my money. Um, so this restaurant had amazing food cuz the food in Texas is the bomb.
Not much else attracts me to go to Texas other than my amazing friends like Honey and the food cuz I lived in San Antonio for a year and the only good thing was the food. I had a really miserable time there because I don’t. To talk about sports or watch sports or just sit and drink beer. And that happened to be the people who were there and enjoyed doing those things.
And I felt like I didn’t have anything in common with ’em. I’m all about learning about different cultures and languages and nerd out and reading and learning languages. Um, and yeah, sports are cool, but I played them in high school., I like to play sports. I like to exercise, but I don’t like to watch other people exercise.
I don’t get that. So, mm. Yeah. Kenny’s was delicious. the food was amazing. And Honey brought her friend, uh, to have dinner with us. And her friend just told me, I love how you savor the food. You’re just enjoying it so much. And I’m like, heck yeah. That’s what life is about. Savoring, savoring the food and the beauty and, and the joy.
Um, and the, the cocktails were so good. I’m not a huge cocktail person. Um, but the cocktails were made with that gray goose tap at 28 degrees. They let you know, oh, the temperature that they have the gray goose at. And so I had a delicious lemon drop cocktail. It was like lemon with blueberry. So good. And then I tried, Not listening to my friends and getting something else off the menu that I thought sounded good.
I got this, uh, it had like Prosecco and shit, but it tasted like a beer cocktail. So I said, can you please send this back? I don’t like it; it tastes too much like beer. And then I got, um, what was the other one? A raspberry. Cocktail if that was the bomb.com, all of a sudden, I’m a cocktail person as long as I go to Kenny’s Wood Fire Grill.
Delicious. And then at the end of the meal, since we told the staff that it was our birthdays a couple days ago, me and Honey are Virgo. Hey
they gave us a $20 gift card to use and since I was only in Dallas for three days, we went back the next day. And I had a salad because I need to still treat my body correctly, but it’s all about moderation. I had salads, salad, and grapes, so I had the salad and um, I had a pair of ate, which was also delicious.
Just made with Grey Goose. Grey Goose. If you’re watching this, uh, you can sponsor me. I’m down to do some sort of partnership. We can do advertising on my podcast like I’m down to be Grey Goose, brand especially if you change the name to Gay Goose. So if y’all see me saying, did I say Gregory? Go on.
That’s what I was saying when I was really buzzed off of just one Perini, cuz I’m a lightweight, but I had a great time in Texas briefly with honey and before I went to California, and she went to California, and I can’t wait to have her on the podcast again to talk about her manifesting power. She has an amazing story to, to talk about how she’s moved to California, but I’m not gonna steal the tea.
I’ll let her do it when she’s on.
So amazing great goose cocktails. We love it. And then, yeah, I booked my, my one way ticket pretty much a week before. When we ticket life on Southwest, because as a digital nomad, I travel with all my things. I just have a big backpack and a small backpack with like my tech stuff. Um, and Southwest allows you to check two bags for free even though it’s slightly more expensive.
I appreciate the convenience and Southwest is always a great airline. They know they’re better than by an American and all those other ones, um, and the route is easier. So I flew from there to Palm Springs. Met up with my friends. We stayed in Airbnb, like four of us. Two of us had done the peace corn nick at ioa, and uh, we went grocery shopping just to get food and snacks and fruits.
I’m like the, we need fruit and veggies. nerd, especially my lightweight self. The older I get the. I’m like, yep, I need to take care of my body. The more I’m feeling it in my knees, the more I’m like, I need to slow down and take care of my body again with moderation. Cause I still got the $20 handle of Great Go
We went to the grocery store to get alcohol cuz it’s so much cheaper to buy a handle than it is to buy a drink at the festival. Um, so we went to Ralph’s, which is the grocery store here in California, and I asked, one of the staff members there, I think on his name tag is said, wine Kaur. And I asked him, why is the small bottle of Gray Goose 20 bucks while the big ass bottle is 20 bucks?
Is this correct? And he’s like, yeah, they’re, they’re on sale. But the smaller bottle you can take into the movie hitter with you
I thought that was so, so funny. But yeah, I got the, the big bottle and I, it does not take much, but I was flying, I was so happy.
The festival just flew by because it’s, it’s three days pool party from 11:00 AM until 5:00 PM The music’s blasting. People are dancing in the water twerking, like on all fours, like. So fun, but the sun does get to you and uh, some people have gotten heat stroke in the past, but it’s just, I love it because it’s just so much queer joy and I feel like it’s an annual celebration of queer joy.
We’re, we’re all in a space where we don’t really have to like explain ourselves or our coming out story or explain to people. Like what, what was the moment in which you realized, or, or how did you do it? I feel like people often ask me because they wanna feel inspired, like how I’ve overcame adversity via my, my queerness or my coming out story.
So that’s why I like this party because we’re just celebrating queer. Together and people are up there twerking, exercising their, their sacral chakras. Uh, it’s just so much fun. And then after the pool party, we, we rest. Some people do cocaine. I’m not into that stuff. I don’t want the uppers. I only do we and mushrooms.
Uh, but last year I realized, oh, this is how people have so much energy cuz they do cocaine, I’m more of like, let me just go back to the place and take an app. The first night I didn’t, we were just staying in the same room together and I got a bit hangry. I was like, I’m sorry guys, I need to go now to get some food because it is a workout dancing in the hot sun.
Yeah. Better than Zumba. Even though I love Zumba. Um, and then I told my writing coach about this whole experience about how I was hangry and she’s like, next time just bring snacks. I was like, oh yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. I told my writing coach about all of this stuff. Um, I think one thing that I did wanna mention was that every year I’ve gone, I’ve felt resentful and angry at a certain point, and I thought that was a normal part of the D experience.
But then after reading a book, which I highly recommend everybody to read, it’s called The Big Leap. It talks about upper limiting and how when you’re, you’re successful and leveling up and doing the scary new things. We self-sabotage ourselves to bring ourselves back to our misery and our struggling past selves.
And I noticed that that’s something that I’ve been doing. Of course, unintentionally, subconsciously for the past three years, I would end up getting really frustrated and then I just journaled on this, and I was like, oh, I’m recognizing a symptom of upper limiting and feeling resentful cuz something I’ve been working on a lot this year is emotional courage and just allowing myself to feel my feelings about.
Being angry cuz something that would come up for me a lot is that I’d feel resentful and that I’d feel resentful for being resentful. Because I was like, well, I meditate and do breath work, and I’m traveling and living my best life. Why the fuck am I feeling resentful? And then when I read the Big Leap, I realized, oh, um, it’s because of childhood wounds.
And of course a lot of these things are subconscious patterns that we repeat. Some of them, for example, are that. We grew up feeling like we don’t, uh, deserve to feel joy or that we’re outshining somebody else in our family or that we’re a burden. The author talks about how he grew up, um, feeling like he was a celebration, but also a burden because I believe he had a single mom and an older brother, and he felt like he was burdening his single mom financially, uh, with all these things.
Uh, but also like being celebrated as somebody who was successful. And I remember him talking about how he wrote his first book and was at an event and he handed his book to his mom and his brother, and neither of them even looked at it. They didn’t care. I was like, whoa. Cause I personally, I feel like a lot of people.
You might relate this, this too. Like people are watching you. They’re not gonna congratulate you, but they’re there watching you to see if you’re gonna fail or if they see themselves projected in you, or you’re at least showing them a possibility, but they’re so triggered and also resentful that they will never say anything or acknowledge you or might even try putting you down.
And I was like, this makes so much sense. So we can’t control how other people feel, but we can start being aware of how we feel. Um, so I noticed, oh, I’m being resentful because. My body is not physically used to experiencing this much prolonged joy, and I feel like I’m burdening a burden or that I don’t deserve to experience joy for three, four straight days, and instead of me being frustrated and resentful for that, I just was aware of why I was feeling resentful after my fourth year.
and I had to tell myself, no, I deserve to experience prolonged joy. And I was telling my writing coach about this too, that for me success is joy. Like the point of financial freedom and traveling and all of these things is to be successful so that we experience joy. And as I told her that she was like, well, people like Melania Trump and Donald Trump, they have a different vision of success.
They aren’t doing this to be happy. And I was like, whoa, that’s wild. I hadn’t thought about that. I thought that the point of life and financial freedom and all of this, like why do we do the things we do every day is to experience more joy, but I guess it’s not a priority for everybody. And it was for me, but I was still self-sabotaging unconsciously because I wasn’t used to this prolonged feeling of.
Of joy and being surrounded by other joyful people too. So that helped me a lot in my experience. And I also was more intentional about being approachable to people. Usually in years past, I would just like stay with my units, with my group of friends and expect other people to come talk to me or flirt with me, and.
and that, but I feel like my resentful energy prevented that from happening. So this year, since I’m all about branding, which you should listen to the episode of, um, My business coach’s podcast, Katherine Morrison, I believe it’s called Ascension Through Entrepreneurship that was just released this week, and I talk about my branding experience even from the clothes that I buy or my nail polish, or my spatial mouse pad.
All of these things are intentional for me to surround myself in my frequency so that I show up as me online. and I realized that I’ve been doing that online, but in person, I wasn’t really, and I was like, oh, I’m noticing these subconscious patterns hit I, the, there’s like this dissonance between what I want and what I’m receiving.
So in order for me to become more approachable, let me first of all be aware of my Resentfulness and not try to kick it out, but understand where it’s coming from so it doesn’t take power over me so that I can experience the joy, not feel guilty. For four, four straight days. And also, I bought some temporary tattoos because I’m realizing that I had a hard childhood, but my mom would also buy me temporary tattoos.
I had little snippets of joy in there, and I loved wearing temporary tattoos like the Lisa Frank, the seal, the, the leopard, all of those animals. I love the bright colors. Like 20 years later, I went to the art store and bought some temporary tattoos. Like this one, it says Keep on creating and there’s like a Sandia, and then I had a tattoo of an egg on my shoulder, but they’re all worn out from the chlorine.
But I just like decked out my body and temporary tattoos to just remind myself that I’m a very playful person and that everything is temporary arts. Enjoy is temporary and I feel like that helped me become more approachable and start a conversation with people because you might see somebody cute but not know what to say to them or how to approach them.
So I feel like just like it’s a cute conversation starter. So pro tip, if you decide to go to Dinah for your first time next year, or if it’s your 10th time, there’s always something new to enjoy and learn. So, Yeah, and I ended up just like flirting and talking to way more hotties maybe I made out with a stranger or eight
um, that I remember I never made out with, I made out with one cutie in all of these festivals I’ve gone to, cause this isn’t the only one I’ve gone to. I’ve gone to girls at Wonderland and Aqua Girl in Miami and I’ve only like made out with one person. Uh, because of all these things I’m talking about, I was too busy being resentful and feeling I deserve to be there and expected people to come to me.
And then this time I was like, oh, I see exactly what the fuck’s going on. And then I made the first move because people hate the, the first move. But I was like, uh, I understand what’s going on. I’m gonna make the first move. And then my friend Coco, she was there for a few hours, and she was already like kissing a cutie and all of us were like, how do you do at Cocoa?
And she was, Keep the conversation going, which I feel like I do, I’m good at. And then she’s like, just lean in. And we all laughed. We all laughed because that’s the title of Cheryl Sandberg’s book, which I’m presuming she’s a straight white woman, uh, who worked at Facebook. But we totally reclaimed that word.
And then we were like, oh, we just have to lean in. And as I was thinking about that, just me physically leaning. First, it made me feel very awkward and weird and bad, like I was a bad person because that made me feel like, oh, I don’t wanna be the creepy, mostly cis head guys or creepy like this. That’s like prey on people.
So literally just me going like this. We’re so dumb. We like practiced, like role playing with the pillow. My friends put a pillow on a chair and they’re like, Charlie, just practice leaning in. I felt so weird for me to literally lean into the pillow and pretend it was the cutie, uh, either a woman or, and be cutie.
Whatever. And I just thought it was so funny cause I’m all about personal development shit and all the, the life coaching and a lot of it is psychology and breaking patterns. I was like, this is what I have to do to break this pattern and lean it. And then again, once I recognize this, recognize this and how my brain was working and.
Irrational fears, uh, about me being worried about hitting on people and what they’d think of me and just putting that aside and having fun. Yeah, I definitely had the most fun this year. Uh, by far it just flew by and just showed me how important it was for me to watch my thoughts and. Decide to break patterns.
Once I became aware of them, that’s all it was. It wasn’t like me manifesting telepathically, like, who’s gonna approach me and stuff. I did the work, but I had to change my thoughts in here, which is the hardest part, which is a lot of people are too scared to even do. But I just had an amazing time. Uh, the resentment was, was probably still there.
I wasn’t trying to kick it out the window cuz resentment also helps protect you too. It helps you say no and recognize people that are hurting you, uh, on your attorney. But I’ve had to think about, okay, in what ways has my resentfulness helped protect me? But if it’s taking over like it has in the past, and that’s the red flag and we need to have a discussion.
So that that awareness was huge for me and having the best Dinah festival of my life and I’m waiting for the tickets to come out next year. Like, you bet I’m gonna be on that early bridge as soon as the tickets come out. Yes. So, definitely recommend reading the book The Big Leap about upper limiting.
Now every day I’m like, Ooh, what’s my brain telling me? How am I upper limiting myself? Uh, and I even have a Google Doc that I, I can share with y’all. If you all DM me, I can share this Google doc I made with like the cliff notes of the book. If you’re not able to read the book, cuz I get it, as a digital nomad, it can be hard to acquire a buck.
But this is also why I invested like 180 bucks in a Kindle paper White and paid 20 bucks for the DC Library so I could get the Libby app so that I can read books, um, for free or, or pay for them through the Kindle Unlimited still. Um, but so I can have access to books cuz that’s really important to me.
And also something that I felt like brought me down in Mexico. I just was not reading cuz libraries, books, Amazon, everything. There was a lot harder than it is here. So, yeah, reading is really important to me now just like, obviously I read the book The Big Leap and it helped me have a better Dinah experience, and like make out with more cuties than hotties and just have fun for myself and hopefully other people had fun, um, with me as well.
So yeah, it was an amazing freaking experience.
It was probably one of the highlights of the year, and I’m also working on a graphic novel that has some sort of like magic mushroom vibe to it too. Instead of drawing people as humans, I wanna draw the characters like myself as magic mushrooms. And I read the book Fantastic Fungi. It’s also great, uh, Netflix show.
And I realize that they’re bioluminescent. Mushrooms, like, why did I not learn about this in high school? Freaking mushrooms that lie up and glow in the dark, like neon signs. And so one thing that I’m talking with my writing coach about is during these like high life moments, cuz I’ve suffered a lot in my life, just like we all have, especially during childhood, I wanna show myself like glowing, like a bioluminescent mushroom.
So for my homework, instead of writing a lot, my writing coach is actually having me draw a lot more cuz she’s also a life coach for creatives too. So, Yeah, my homework is to okay, draw, draw the Dinah experience with yourself as a bioluminescent, mushroom, and other bioluminescent mushroom, hotties, so that’s gonna be my homework.
Uh, every Tuesday we meet. So yes, I will get that done. So, yeah,
so, so, yeah. What’s next after D? Well, right now I’m in LA hanging out with friends. I actually wanted to come to LA after DC, but DC sucked me in, and the goal is for me to, if I had to live in the state somewhere, it’d be in la. Cuz the queer community and the Mexican vibe, like I’ve already been to Vita, the grocery store for the first time.
And the tortillas or the bomb, like, I’m literally resting my notes on this Ed Nons, which are so much better than on, oh my god, so much flavor. Was in DC I wasn’t expecting, well, I went out to one Mexican restaurant, and it was bougie and fancy. I was like, mm, let me eat the OG white P Paul food in dc. So I went to the Balkan Restaurant AM Bar and for Georgian Food Georgia, the country, um, that’s not very trans-friendly, but I can still enjoy the food cuz it’s in America and not worry about my rights.
And my safety as much. Uh, Georgian food is really good. Then the restaurant for that is super in DC so check that out. But I’m in DC for a couple days until. Um, October 7th and then I’m going to back to Palm Springs. Actually, unfortunately not for Dinah, it’s gonna be for very small intimate coaches retreat with Kyla and I’m really excited to meet other online entrepreneurs and coaches in person.
Cause it can get pretty isolating. I love my community online, but it hits different, obviously, meeting people in person like it did at Dinah. Um, so that’s gonna be for a few. And then, uh, yeah, I booked my ticket to go to Taiwan cuz that’s, I’ve been wanting to go travel Southeast Asia forever. I’ve only been to Japan and China.
and I went to China in 2017 and I love Latin America, but I feel like that’s my comfort zone and I love being able to speak with people. And since I speak Spanish fluently, I don’t feel like there’s a language barrier and I can express myself and learn about the culture with people, but I have to put that aside and my Virgo as just like, Nope, get outta your comfort zone and go to a country where you don’t speak the language.
Because I’m also a language nerd and I like learning new languages. I pick them up pretty quickly. Um, and I’m just ready to be. Stimulated in that way. Pre covid, I was all about going to different countries and it was so much more normal for me. Right before Covid hit in like 20, 19 December, I traveled to Germany, Denmark, Sweden, by myself, and I was supposed to go with it next, but we broke up and I was like, oh, I’m still gonna go
I’m not scared traveling alone. Um, but then Covid hit and I realized that, uh, I think. Also just like general safety. I did not feel safe to travel. I mean, I moved to Mexico for a year and a half, but I really wasn’t traveling a lot at all. I didn’t leave the country. Yeah. Unless it was to go literally back to the US for Dinah.
And again, this time I left Mexico to come to the us. I thought I’d be traveling to Guatemala and Belize and everything like that. And oh, and then I went to Peru in Colombia. Yeah, I did do that., but it was wintertime, and I got all pale and yeah, the little melanin that I have totally went away and I looked like a ghost.
It’s just not fun to go to Peru in the winter, which is our summer now. Now I know this, if it’s less than 70 degrees, I’m not a happy person anywhere. like I literally have one sweater because I don’t like the cold and cuz I’m a digital nomad, so I had a manatee letter and then I just thought like a galactic.
Sweatshirt. So I’m gonna throw the manatee sweater away because it like got stained with like, the, the markers that I draw with. And then I put a pin over the stain and then I was like, this is not sustained. So I’m gonna buy, I already bought a different sweater and I’m taking advantage of Amazon one day delivery out here in the States, cuz Amazon is not in Mexico.
I don’t know what it was. I remember ordering a vibrator once in Mexico and it took two weeks to get there and they were like calling me and stuff and they were like, you weren’t home. And I was like, yeah, I was. And it did not work out. So I’ve been using Amazon up here in the States. It’s [00:36:00] also buying new things too.
It’s so much easier. And it’s a tax right off. Like I’ve sent a thousand dollars on a new surface tablet cuz my laptop was hella old. A thousand tax write off. All these things for my business, I’m definitely spending money on, cuz it’s Q4 already and I just did my Q4 finances. I’m doing my tax prep instead of waiting until April 10th to do my taxes.
I like to know how I can have better tax strategies, so my friend Sonia is helping me., uh, with this, and I’m just sending her basic forms like how much money I’ve made with Rover. I’ve made about $3,800 this summer, so I had to send her that for expenses for Rover. There weren’t too many, but I did keep track of all the Ubers and Lyfts that I had to take in between DC to get to this, these Uber gigs, even though I biked a lot cause I love to bike and it’s my form of exercise prefer than going to the gym.
Uh, I spent almost 400 bucks on Ubers and stuff. It’s so that’s gonna help lower my liability for the, the side hustle for the main money coaching business. I’m excited to share that. I have made my first a hundred k, yeah, a hundred k in, in the two years since I started my business. And this year in sales, I’ve generated, uh, I think it’s almost $55,000 in.
But about half of that I’ve reinvested in in business coaching and in writing coaching cuz I love investing in myself. I’ve only put about $4,500 in my solo 401k and part of me is like the stock market gets so low right now. Shit’s on sale, it’s so low. Why don’t I just invest like thousands of dollars in my solo 401k?
And the other part of me is like, no, you’re good. You’ve invested already in the stock market. It’s at as low as it was about two years ago, but your jam is investing tens of thousands of dollars in yourself because the stock market can give you a 10% return without you doing any of the work. But with all the energy I have and the work that I wanna do, why not invest?
$10,000 in business coaching, and then I make my investment back in two months, that’s a hundred percent return. So as entrepreneurs, I feel like, especially as immigrant entrepreneurs, we got the hustle down. We’re not taking venture capital funding, external funding, like I’m not taking money for everybody.
I’ve generated this money from my thoughts and also my savings. My investments have allowed me to spend this much money, and now that I’m making tens of thousands of dollars, I can reinvest that back into my business to keep making more money, um, so that I can save for my retirement, but also pay my bills.
Because this year I’ve not relied on my stocks to pay my bills. Last year, 2021, the stock market was pop in. Because interest rates were low. And I’m gonna walk you all through this cuz this is something that my client asked about, she was not understanding. She was listening to a podcast about, uh, interest rates and the Fed and the white men of the Federal Reserve meeting in Wyoming and why it was important.
So basically what y’all should know about interest rates is that the government tells banks what to do, the go. Tells banks what interest rates to charge. The banks don’t whip these numbers out of their ass. Interest is the cost of money. So for example, if I lend you a hundred bucks and I charge you 5% interest, when you pay me back, you’re gonna owe me $105.
And because the bank told me, okay, Charlie, if you lend out money, you, you charge 5%. Interest rates were really low when Covid hit. So money was hella cheap. Money was freaking cheap when covid hit, and for two years, basically money was freaking cheap. So millionaires took advantage that home buyers took advantage of cheap money.
People that already had a shit ton of cash available, so they weren’t in debt. Took advantage of low interest rates. People that were already in debt. Kind of might have gotten fucked over because they were already in debt, and they just felt like they could keep borrowing more and more money. So they have racked up more debt and now interest rates are going up finally because the government’s signing to step in and now all those people who are in debt are screwed cuz now they’re getting charged even more money for borrowing that money.
Meanwhile, there’s, there’s people who like the millionaires and people buying their 10th, 11th investment property in homes. They’re good. They’re like, oh, interest rates are higher. We can just pay off that debt a little bit faster. It’s fine. For me personally, I had some business debt. Uh, I used the credit card debt calculator cause I took out 10 K to pay for business coaching.
Even though I had the money in the bank, I wanted to be smart about it and was leveraging the low interest rates. I was like, let me just keep this emergency fund money in the bank and pay myself. Cuz this year, 2022, I decided to pay myself consistently every month, pay myself about after taxes, 1700 bucks.
Uh, because I was not doing that my first year of business and I was very resentful. So this year I appreciate having that consistent. Income, whether I have an 18 K month or a three K month or a zero K month, I still pay myself the same. To create that safety and consistency that people feel like they only can find at the nine to five.
But entrepreneurs, we can create that consistency for ourselves, and we can’t fire ourselves. Not like at the nine to five where they can fire you at any time. Just like Covid showed. But it’s also important to diversify income streams. So 2021, I was selling my stock to pay my bills. Sold. Sold 3000 of Tesla stock, sold 2000 of AMD chip company to pay my bills, blah, blah, blah.
Cause the stock market was popping and I know exactly how it works. When the stock market is popping and going up and things are good, that’s when you sell your stock and you’re not greedy either. If you wanna sell it to pay your bills or sell the stock to build up your emergency fund. That’s when you do it.
And when you’re a long-term investor. I know that the stock market’s good or bad because I can see based off, okay, two years ago, are my stocks higher or lower than they were two years ago? And my stocks were popping off. They were much higher than they were two years ago. And so that was my cue as well.
Okay, now is the time to sell. So that’s what I tell clients when they’re like, ah, is the stock market good or bad? What should I do? That’s my frame of reference as a long-term investor. I’ve been investing since I was 26, so about six years. So that’s what I do. And I also am trying to sell stocks that have held the most amount of time as possible.
Stocks that you’ve held onto for a year or more. You’re gonna pay less taxes on those sales in a brokerage account. If you’re day trading and stuff, you’re gonna pay higher tax rate. And it’s gonna depend on your tax bracket. I was also selling hell stock when I was a grad student, cuz I was in such a freaking low tax bracket.
Even on stocks that I held on for a year or more. I wasn’t paying any taxes cuz I was a grad student, not making a lot. So I was in a low tax bracket, so I was taking advantage of that. This year, stock market has not done well. I’ve actually sold stocks for a. I’ve sold a pharma company that hasn’t done well at all that I regret buying called Soreto, that I’ve paid some money day trading when the stock market was popping that I sold that at a last, so I’ve, I’ve lost about $800 in stocks and I’ve gained about 700 so that there’s like a $83 total loss after doing the math that I just sent my tax person to, so that she’s aware of that.
I’ve actually lost money selling stock, which was intent. Because I’m gonna be in a higher tax bracket and stock market is not doing well. So there’s different ways that you can capitalize When the stock market’s doing well sell that shit. And when stock market’s doing bad, you still sell a little bit.
As long as you’re aware that you can sell right off and take less of a tax loss, but you’re still losing money. But it’s fine. I’m not selling to make money and scramble around cause I’m desperate. I’m being strategic in selling stocks so that I can have a lower tax burden. And who knows, we’re all, we’re barely in September.
Stocks can still be popping in the next three, four months. So it’s important to be aware of what we can and can’t control and how to take advantage of literally every situation by the stock market is up or down. I’m still partying because when it’s down, that’s when my clients are buying. Like my client, Lulu was buying $16,000 of stock in her Roth ira.
My client, Alex yesterday, told me she bought $900 in stock in her Roth ira, and all my clients are taking advantage now that they know and understand this entire year of the stock. Been cheaper than last year. So that’s what I keep telling my clients, and, and it’s never too late to start, don’t feel the fomo.
Like I said, stocks are pretty much low as they were, like when after covid hit. It’s wild. Uh, but it’s still important to be aware of, okay, am I, why am I selling, why am I buying? And look for the long term instead of seeing whatever’s buying on TikTok, focus on the long term. So, I’ve gotten a window into my potential tax liability for next year because I have lost $83 in stocks in my brokerage account, and I haven’t lost anything in my Roth hire or my 401k or my solo 401k cause that it’s gonna stay in there for decades.
It’s not my emergency fund. I’m not gonna touch it whether it’s lower or high. I don’t care all the stock that I’m buying and selling that I’m telling you about. That’s taxed is in my taxable brokerage account that I treat like a hybrid high yield savings account that at its high it had about $28,000.
Now it has about $20,000 in it cuz the stock market has dipped. And half of that that down is because I chose to invest in one stock, uh, that I’m not recommending. But I have that as an example to show my clients when I show my accounts to them, don’t be like me and think you’re gonna outsmart the market and invest in single company.
Right now I’m down about three 30, $500 in that one stock, and I’m just holding onto it just to show my clients. As a reminder. For everybody else that’s listening, that single company stocks are much riskier. If that company goes bankrupt, you’re fucked. Like that money’s not insured. However, if you invest in low cost index funds, where it’s one fund, one in.
That’s invested in dozens or hundreds of companies. If one of those companies goes bankrupt, you’re less fucked. Like it won’t matter. You’re what’s called diversifying, and that’s what we’re all about. Whether you’re diversifying in a fund or diversifying all of your finances, you have your emergency fund, passive income like I do if, um, with this blog, I’m in a start or with a dog setting multiple income streams instead of depending on one income stream.
That’s super, super important. And it’s also important to the more money you make, being aware of reducing your tax liability. Cause growing up first gen, growing up poor, like we never talked about how to reduce our tax liability, we just complained about taxes, and we were scared of them, and we didn’t understand them.
We just told Turbo Tax to do us thing. But it’s like, nah. Now that we’re leveling up, we’re the first to make the most in our families. We’re the first two. Invest in our retirement and helping our parents open retirement accounts and your siblings open retirement accounts, and your friends get. Taxes matter more.
And this is why millionaires and billionaires hire accountants so that they can write off their private jets and yachts cuz they don’t wanna spend more money. Why would you spend more in taxes when you can literally use the legal ways to lower your tax bill and invest in other exciting things? And, and that’s how I see it.
Lowering your tax bills is, should be a priority. The more and more money than you that you. Yeah. And it’s it, and I’m talking about the legal way. not tax agent. It’s tax efficiency. So, and I say this in Q4 too because the end of the tax year is coming up. And I remember being in the same spot last year, not understanding how things like tax write offs worked.
And then when my accountant told me, she was like, yeah, you have a bunch of money in your account. You can invest in things and spend money. To lower your tax liability so that you’re investing in things that will help your business start off January 2022. And so then I went to Best Buy and bought a cell phone, was looking at coaching, and this is what I’m doing this year, since I only pay myself like 1700 a month.
I still have several thousand in my business bank account. But I also know I’m gonna pay about $6,000 in my coaches retreat and my writing coach too. So that’s why I wanna talk about with Sonya to see, okay, should I hold off on money? Should I pay myself more? Should I invest in my 401k? What other ways can I be tax efficient too?
Cuz things like your cell phone bill when you have a business, um, your laptop, all these things can count as tax write-offs. And I’m not an accountant. Don’t at me with specific tax questions, but I hope this encourages you to, if you have a business or think about starting a business, hiring an accountant or a tax specialist should definitely be something you should do.
And it also counts as a tax write off very meta. So all these things I’m sharing to you so that you’re aware of the possibilities. As an entrepreneur or whether you’re thinking about having a side hustle or whatever too. So really excited to go to Taiwan. I’m reading some books on my Kindle about the history of it, and I’m excited to be the only country in Asia that legalized same sex marriage.
Hopefully I’ll get to go to the Pride Festival in the end of October now that the weather’s starting to get a bit cooler over there, cuz I know it’s very humid. It can get buggy. I hear their snake. We’re gonna be fine, but I’m also looking for places to have a little mountain retreat. And the island is small enough that I feel like I won’t have any problem.
It’s as big as I think New Jersey and Delaware combined. It’s not a big island, but I don’t wanna spend the whole time in the city. I’m already like type of person there every day feel like I need to put my feet in the grass and relax. So I’ve also decided to take a month off and I’m telling my clients that I’m gonna be off.
Cause I haven’t taken any official time off since starting my business two years ago. I haven’t even taken an official day off or week off. So I’m decided to take a month off since I’ll also be in, in Taiwan to just disconnect and unplug and, and become creative because this rest is going to help me with my life and my business.
So I’m excited to see what comes out of that and to just be in a different. Country outside of my comfort zone, cuz Latin America is still in my comfort zone. Even if it’s a different country. I still speak the language and understand what’s up. But in Southeast Asia, I’m excited to start off in Taiwan and then hopefully go to Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, cuz I’ve never been.
And the world is a huge place to, to explore maybe even the Philippines. I just know I’ll be. For a while up overhand. Cause I can work from anywhere. So why would I tie myself down to, to Mexico or a specific place? Cause I don’t have to. I can literally go wherever. So if y’all have any recs for Southeast Asia, uh, I’m also interested in doing my first meditation or yoga retreat.
I regret not doing those kinds of things in the environment. I never been doing an ayahuasca retreat in the whole year and a half. I was there, I only did mushrooms. So I wanna be more intentional about connecting with people in person cuz I’m becoming more and more spiritual, and I love my online spiritual peeps, but I want to manifest and see what spiritual retreats, yoga spaces there are in Southeast Asia, maybe even go to Bali.
But it depends on how LGBT friendly they are over there. Cause I’ve heard. Pretty gnarly anti-trans stories. Um, so yeah, send me all your recs please. Um, and yeah, if you want to learn about stock picking, Join my next master class. It’s gonna be on Wednesday at 10:00 AM Pacific, 1:00 PM Eastern at the link in my bio.
I’m gonna be walking you through exactly what I walk my clients through on Zoom about how to pick stocks and not single company stocks like I just told y’all about, but how to pick these low cost index funds cuz I’m not a financial advisor. I don’t have that license to give recommendations.
I did work as a stockbroker, so I have the licenses. Had licenses to buy us sell stocks. Hey, Allie Talking Finances and Dyna. I love doing lives and podcasts at the same time. Um, what was I saying? Oh, Allie, you’re distracting me. Stop it. Um, anyways, masterclass, come check it out. I’ll walk you through with the zoom, how to pick sock.
Index funds so that you know how to make your money grow for you, because if you have just cash sitting and investment accounts, that’s even worse than having them sit in savings accounts because the interest. In investment accounts are even freaking lower than they are in your ally high yield savings accounts, which I hope y’all are at Ally by now.
If y’all haven’t left Wells Fargo or Bank of America, come work with me cuz I take all my clients away from that ish and, and plug them in with Ally cause they don’t have a ghost account scandal like Wells Fargo does. Um, So, yeah, come join the money party. I went to the Dinah. It was a big pool party, but we’re continuing the party online so that you can make your money and live your best life.
So join that masterclass link in my bio and there’ll be a q and a. So you can ask me any types of questions about this. It’s gonna be a great time. My clients are joining as well too, because I wanna have add the most value for my clients. If you work with me, all master classes are included. You don’t have to pay for that extra.
And I wanna add value, right before my trip to Taiwan, I wanna leave y’all with this knowledge of, okay, you have your investment accounts, you’ve added the money. Now what? What’s the next step? So that’s what the masterclass is all about, is that final step of making sure your money’s working for you, but also understanding how the fuck it’s working for you.
Cause that’s important too. Instead of just asking people what they invest in, I want you to be informed. About what you’re investing in, so you know how to do this for yourself, and also explain these things to your loved ones too. So I’ll put the link to that in, in the show notes. Love y’all. Thank you so much for listening.
And yeah, keep, keep shaking it.