Episode 9 – My Subtle Level Up Purchases
As first gens we are so used to doing the most, but we need to celebrate our accomplishments! This year I decided to actively buy nice things/experiences for myself each time I signed a client. What we don’t celebrate, we don’t integrate. I share the mindset drama I coached myself on when making these purchases I never would have thought I would make even just a year ago. Becoming our millionaire selves involves letting go of our scarcity mindsets we inherited and recognizing that we DO deserve to celebrate ourselves.
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Episode 9 – My Subtle Level Up Purchases
Podcast Transcript Below
Hello everybody. Welcome to the Unicorn Millionaire Podcast. I’m your host, Charlie Stoever. I’m a non-binary Latinx money coach, helping my first gen clients become millionaires. I’m a formerly undocumented Mexican American and currently digital nomad traveling all over the worlds. Super excited to have you here along with me on my journey.
I talk about personal finance, money mindset, twerking, unicorns, rainbows, you name it. We’re here. We’re queer, and we are going to build wealth for ourselves and our communities
Hey loves. How’s it going? I just came back from a fabulous trip in Vermont. In the woods. Would I ever go to Vermont by myself? Probably not. But I went because a group of my Heller School social Impact MBA classmates who I graduated virtually with in May, planned a weekend getaway in the woods in Vermont. And it was everything I needed.
I’m loving being in DC I’m having so much fun here, but it’s, there’s just nothing like being in the campo in the woods. With the trees and the green and the forest and there was an outdoor jacuzzi and we all got to cook meals together and just enjoy time. As somebody who’s single, I live by myself, nomadically and I pet sit, it can get pretty lonely, which is why I also pet sit to overcome the loneliness.
Um, but it was just nice being with friends who had really this, I met a bunch of them in person for the first time since I’d been studying remotely. I got my social impact MBA. , uh, the year COVID hit, I quit my job, got a full ride because I’d done the Peace Corps in Nicaragua, and then I decided to study while living by the beach in Playa del Carmen, in Mexico virtually.
And I just kept waiting for things to, to come back to somewhat ish normal with COVID but it turned out the last semester was the only semester you had the option to return. And I was like, nah, I’m just gonna stay out here in Mexico and chill. And I didn’t even go to my graduation cuz I didn’t have any like nuclear biological family that would show up there to support me.
Anyway, so this was the first time I really met a lot of my classmates who I studied virtually with for 16 months. And it was just really fun and I didn’t have to do homework together for study groups and stress out about class and just enjoy, kick back in the jacuzzi, eat tacos, all the good food and swim in the waterfalls.
So I’m back fully refreshed, the nature God goddess is back. Non-binary. Nature God.
Should I say, the non-binary unicorn is back from vacation, but it honestly, it felt like a vacation from my vacation because I’m just out here in Washington, DC living my best life, the digital nomad life. I can come in, go as I please. And I got right back to work. Today is Tuesday morning and I had two back to back client calls, my money coaching clients.
And first I wanna shout out to my client, Alex. We have been working together for about four months and my coaching program for now is six months long. So we’re starting to talk about investments, but I love hearing about her updates because she is the first person to make the most in her family and is leveling up like crazy.
But she’s not only taking herself along. She’s taking her whole family with her. She’s helped her, her sister and her parents talk about money and have those conversations. She’s even helped her friends negotiate for higher pay because just because an employer gives you a raise does not mean it’s enough, especially in these times of inflation.
So I’m really proud of her and, and she’s celebrating about a $12,000 raise. So it was amazing to congratulate her on that. But I wanted to talk today about the subtle level ups, subtle level up purchases that I’ve made in order to normalize celebrating.
Because she just breezed through the fact that she got a raise and I think as first gens we’re used to breezing through all the awesome shit that we do and have done in our lives, because sometimes we don’t have a choice but to push through, advocate for ourselves, do the hard things, be the first to do so many things, whether it’s financial, you’re making those, or just simply start breaking generational cycles by going to therapy. So we’re all doing so much and I want us to acknowledge that and celebrate ourselves more. And I wanna record this because celebrating ourselves is something that I wanna work on, not just for myself, but for my clients. So when she started talking about something else, I was like, we need to bring it back to your raise.
How are you planning? Or would you like to celebrate? And Alex hadn’t really thought about that. And I’m not surprised because I too have been guilty of doing baller ass shit and not even pausing to realize that those things should be acknowledged and celebrated through either rituals or purchases, whatever floats your boat.
So, uh, I asked her that and she said that, well, she’s gonna take a vacation. A friend who also turns out to get a raise and then I kept challenge her, challenging her to, to kind of level up in ways that I’ve been leveling up since I recognize that I’m in my second year of my business. My first year of my business, I was just going balls of the wall and not really celebrating my accomplishment.
Um, so I wanted to talk to you today about the subtle level of purchases that, that I’ve made and when I told Alex about this, I was like, even if you go out to eat, because she normally tells me that she has just water, which I’ve also done that most of my life. When I go out to eat, I just get water cuz drinks are relatively expensive compared to the food.
And growing up that was like a fancy thing to even be able to go out to eat even if it’s just at KFC. But I told her specifically this time, don’t just get water. And she’s like, okay, well I’m going to Salt Lake City, so I don’t know if I can get alcohol or even a diet Coke. Cause it has caffeine. I was like, even if it’s a mocktail, I really wanna challenge you to, now that you’re making more money to really acknowledge all the level up that you’re doing for yourself and for your family.
So I’m gonna talk about the subtle level of purchases that I’ve made. Um, in last month, I had a big month in my business. I’m really open about the ups and downs of being an entrepreneur, if you follow me on Instagram at Traveler Charly, I also am very transparent about the revenue numbers that I’ve made.
So in my first year of business, I made about 42, $45,000. In sales. I don’t keep that stuff. In fact, in the first year business, I didn’t even pay myself because I was focused on growing my business and I didn’t really know how to, and I didn’t wanna have a huge tax bill. So this year in sales, I’m almost at $50k and I’m already, uh, about halfway through the year.
But I’ve also had my $0 months. In January, I had $12,000 in sales, and then February, March I had $0 back to back and that totally fucked with my mind. I did things that I shouldn’t have done, like changed my offer, even though I never even really listed my price on my website I was, I was like reducing the number of months that I work with clients thinking it had something to do with me.
And then I realized it had everything to do with my messaging and if I was talking to my correct clients. So that’s something that I’ve really been working on this year, is dropping the savior complex that a lot of us have as first gens that capitalist society wants us to have. That tells us that we need to save everyone.
And the nonprofit complex benefits off of this ideology that we grew up as first gens and now we have to give back to our community and not make any money. While middle class, wealthy white people are off making six figures after college and they don’t feel the guilt of having to help anybody.
I made $10K after college, uh, doing AmeriCorps here in San Antonio and qualified for food stamps, and they got us good with that ideology of, oh, basically just suck it up because you are lucky and these kids are not, and you need to suffer and give back so that they can have more, which is basically the ideology behind why a lot of public school teachers are exploited. A lot of them work way too many hours and they’re not compensated properly. And I don’t mean that pizza parties are proper compensation. I think public school teachers have one of the hardest jobs in the country. Um, but that’s another tangent.
So this year I’ve decided to celebrate myself. Every time I signed a new client, I, I wanna treat myself to a nice thing.
At first it was nice dinners. And now I, I’ve realized as a digital nomad that I hid behind the excuse that, uh, I travel a lot, so I can’t accumulate nice things. But then I got coached by my business coach on this, and I realized that no, I can have nice things, even if they’re small things, even if it’s like a nice pen or a nice ring, just to celebrate myself and surround myself with a frequency that I’m going into and aligning with.
And I’m stepping into my millionaire, millionaire self without having to wait to see the million dollars hit my bank account, because all these numbers, millionaire, billionaire, they’re arbitrary numbers we assign in society to value more people over others. So I decided, all right, I’m stepping into my millionaire self.
I don’t have to wait till I hit a million to celebrate, all the baller stuff that I’m doing and I hope this resonates with you cuz I’m sure you’ve done some amazing shit that you haven’t even recognized. And sometimes it helps to talk with your friends about your accomplishments because they see things that you might gloss over because you’re so used to doing the most and being a badass.
So it’s a good reminder to ask your friends or just talk to them about your accomplishments, for them to say, uh, yeah, that should be celebrated. Let’s go out to dinner. So this summer especially, I’ve signed three clients in July and I was intentional about celebrating each client.
The first purchase that I made that I believe is a subtle level up is those Bose noise canceling ear pods. I had a bunch of thoughts about these EarPods. And with the Bose brand in general growing up, I remember my dad saying, Bose is the best brand. It’s the most expensive, but it’s the best brand. So I carried that belief that uh, it was the most expensive, therefore I couldn’t afford it. And I spent most my 31 years thinking, oh, Bose is for rich people.
It’s not for me cause I’m not rich. And then using the same mindset tools I use with my clients, I use that on myself and I said, okay, what’s this really about? Are you just not getting them because you think you don’t deserve them? Is it really gonna hit your finances? And it was the first one I thought I didn’t deserve them because I wasn’t wealthy.
I definitely had the money. And as a business owner, I know more and more about tax write-offs. So the money was not an issue. I can write off business expenses, so I pay less in taxes for my business. Uh, and I can use them to save taxes. It wasn’t about the money. It was about my belief that I didn’t deserve these fancy headphones meant for rich people, and they were only like $250.
But really even a year or two years ago, I never would’ve thought I would’ve ever paid that much money for headphones that I could buy for $10.
But then I also realized, uh, I’m, I’m becoming rich. I am going to be rich. That belief is within me. I also have a strong belief that I’m gonna be on TV and I’m gonna be famous, and I’m gonna impact people and help so many more people. I just have that belief that that’s going to happen. Because of all the work I do, starting my own podcasts, doing all these Instagram lives, holding masterclass, showing the fuck up day in in doubt.
Even though before I record podcasts, I’m terrified out of my mind. I’ve still signed clients and this year I’m about to hit a hundred thousand dollars in revenue since starting my business, um, less than two years ago. So all of these things are huge, but now that I’m verbalizing them and celebrating, I’m integrating them because what we don’t celebrate, we don’t integrate.
And so celebrating isn’t just about getting shit faced or celebrating like weddings and parties. It’s about making your accomplishments significant. Cuz if you don’t value them, you don’t value yourself. And let me tell you, these Bose noise canceling EarPods, I still took advantage of Prime Day even though I hate Amazon, Amazon sucks.
I still took advantage that they were about $170, but they got me good. They roped me in, and now I’m paying 16 bucks a month and I see how you work. Amazon. I might cancel that soon because I’m really not an order online type of person, but being in the states, I feel like I want to take advantage of that because it’s so much easier to get things delivered out here than it is abroad, at least in Mexico. It was, I remember ordering a vibrator once in Mexico and that ish never arrived. They said, they called my front door and it, it never got to me. So, so, yeah. Uh, I’m all about ordering things out here. Uh, what was I gonna say?
Yeah, those EarPods are one of my favorite investments, I would say next to spending, what, almost $15,000 in business coaching from my business. Uh, the, the noise canceling EarPods are a game changer. I don’t have ADHD, but a friend who did have ADHD said that they changed her life because they helped her focus and not be distracted by all the outside noise that I think we take it for granted because we’re so used to it.
But once we’re able to, to block it out, we, I realized that I’m a highly sensitive person and I’m able to focus a lot more and concentrate and I just feel like overall less of an angry person cuz I realize that outside noise, that vibration, that energy was really affecting me all my life. So I’ll put the noise canceling EarPods in and at the airport and I can just block out the bullshit.
I can block out the children screaming. The Karen’s Karening, the mansplaining, but you can still hear the, the announcements and things like that get very loud stuff. I don’t miss out on them, and I love them, and I can also just like sit there and meditate in the middle of the airport. And when I board on the airplane, it feels like I go from economy to first class because I can just block out so many things.
As a highly sensitive person, I definitely recommend those noise canceling EarPods and they’re small and compact. I’m just impressed in how they work. Not sure how they work, but they work. Um, and you can set it to have different settings. Like you can have it be noise canceling to the max or middle or nothing as well.
So those have been a game changer for me. Huge investment. And so they went from a, a want to a need. Because they really do improve my mental health and my quality of life, and they also help me for my business. When I just wanna plug in on a busy airport or cafe, I’m able to do that. Um, but I would never have realized all of this if I had not coached myself and really gotten to the root of why I was afraid or too guilty to, to think that these EarPods were not for me because they were for rich people. It’s like, mm, I’m rich. I’m becoming rich. My clients are gonna be millionaires as well, so might as well get on board, get on the train to wealth building and start making these subtle level up purchases, and when I say purchases, I really mean investments.
Whenever I spend money on anything, I want to know if, if it’s an investment. That will give me some sort of return. Not always financial, but emotional and over the long term, will this improve my quality of life? Does it really truly bring me joy? Those are things I ask myself whenever I spend money on anything really.
So I’m gonna, that’s the first example of three. The next example of a subtle level of purchase that I had to coach myself through was a spa day. So I signed another client in July, and in Mexico I used to get beach massages for like 30 bucks every week. I would treat myself to that. But then out here in the US I don’t have my trusted masseuse as a trans person who’s had top surgery.
Uh, it makes me nervous that masseuses won’t, I’ll freak them out as well. I’ve never had bad experiences so far, but there’s always that thought in the back of my mind as a queer person, that I have to protect myself, that I better just might as well just not do something to protect my mental health. And that’s valid.
But I decided that, alright, if I’m not gonna get a massage just yet, I still deserve to get a mani pedi and my eyebrows waxed just cause. So I got a recommendation to go to this place. It was called Namaste Nail Spa. Asian owned spot in Bethesda, Maryland, and I had a rough idea of how much the, the pedicure cost.
I think somebody told me it was like 70 bucks, but for the first time in my life, I didn’t verify the price. I didn’t look at the prices of anything when I went in there, and I had all kinds of thoughts about that, but I knew exactly what was my brain was trying to do. My brain was trying to default to when I was raised, when I couldn’t felt, I was raised to feel like I couldn’t trust anybody.
Even though I grew up in a very manipulative parental sphere, I was raised to feel like everybody’s out to get me, to chip me, to take advantage of me, to steal my money, and I couldn’t trust anybody. But when I walked in the salon, I was like, I’m gonna have a nice pedicure and it’s gonna be okay. And whether is $5 or $500, I can afford it, and investing in my body, investing in this meat suit in which my spiritual being is wrapped around, is gonna be worth it.
So I got the, the namaste pedicure in which they give you the, I think it’s paraffin wax on your feet. And they were taking their time, which I loved. They weren’t rushing me cuz I hate feeling like I’m being rushed and cranked out. Cuz I felt like that in some places in DC where they’re just cranking you out like an assembly line and they’re like, all right, you’re done.Go. I hate that shit.
Especially after living in Mexico and Nicaragua just living abroad, you realize how assembly line so much of American culture is, and they’re always pushing you to the next thing, even when you’re out to dinner, like the waiters are, uh, constantly asking if you need anything in order to get in and get out.
And the pace of life is just so much slower, pretty much in all other places that I’ve been outside of the US. So I was getting my pedi. Then they gave me a neck massage, which was amazing. And then I saw the woman next to me was getting the wax treatment on her hands, and I asked, do you have time to give me that manicure?
And I didn’t look at the prices and I was like, who am I? And I was like, I’m a boss. I’m living up and I deserve this. I kept thinking, and my brain is trying to justify, is it worth it? Is it worth it? And I was like, yeah. I’ve typed so many blog posts, I’ve typed hundreds of blog posts, hundreds of Instagram posts.
I’ve recorded podcasts, I’ve done Instagram lives, and it wouldn’t have been possible without my hands. My feet have taken me to 30 different countries. Uh, yes, it’s gonna be a worthy investment. I need to respect and worship and adore my meat suit cuz if I don’t, who the fuck will? I’ve never met, had an ex or met anybody that’s treated me better than I treat myself, and I’m still working on treating myself better.
So that I can become the person that I’m trying to attract. I’m single, but I want to attract a partner who also takes care of themself, who also wants to make a social impact, who sees the big picture, but how the fuck am I expect that of somebody else if I’m not always doing that for myself?
Taking care of myself and taking care of others is a big priority as well as being with somebody who acknowledges their marginalization, but also acknowledges their privilege and what are they doing about their privilege. That’s huge to me. So that’s how I reconciled spending all of that money on my hands and feet. Uh, when I left, I felt so good about it and it ended up being with Tip about $150, which was way more than I have ever spent on mani pedi eyebrow waxing.
In Mexico, it would’ve been like a fourth or a third of the price, I don’t know, but I didn’t regret it and I’m so happy that I coached myself and created that sense of fun for myself and respect for my body that I was willing to spend that much on myself, cuz I’ve never done that before.
Um, but I’m stepping into my millionaire self and who am I to to tell my clients to do things that are, they’re uncomfortable with, to step into their millionaire selves if I’m not willing to do the same. So that was that subtle level up purchase slash experience number two. The last purchase I made was a pair of Adidas Golden shoes.
Uh, my friend Dan, who I love, we met in City Year in San Antonio, in Texas. I’ve been staying at his place while he was out of town in Virginia. He took me to the outlets because I wanted a nice new pair of kicks, and so we went to the outlets and I was like, I just want a nice pair of casual sneakers or sporty sneakers.
So we looked all over, all over and then found the Adidas store, and there was a pair named after some basketball star. I don’t know anything about sports. I played them in high school. I played basketball, volleyball, tennis, cross country soccer, but I don’t know, other than Brittney Griner, I only found out about her because she’s wrongfully detained in Russia.
But these shoes were named after some basketball star. I liked them because they were black and they had gold on them, and I’d never bought any shoes with gold. And I, I used to also think that gold is not for me because gold is for wealthy, show offy people and let me buy gray. But I had to coach myself and really get to the root of that again, I realized that I had subconsciously bought a lot of grey things because I didn’t want to attract attention.
Especially after having done the Peace Corps and Nicaragua, before I got my top surgery, I attracted a lot of street harassment and attention from cis men that was very unwanted and unwelcome. And so I’d still had this thought that I can’t be too showy because I don’t wanna get harassed in the street and call attention to myself.
And that also translated to being trans, to being non-binary, gender nonconforming. When I walk in the street, I present as male because of my top surgery. But as soon as I open my mouth, I’ve also had this happen and men would be like, oh, you’re not a dude. And they start hitting on me. It’s so weird. So weird.
Men are so much less creepy when they think you’re a cis dude. It’s insane. Um, But yeah, I looked at, picked up these shoes and I was like, wow, these are golden and black. They’re classy and they have like a, a strap over the shoelaces. And what I really loved about them, uh, was that they had that Japanese art, I forgot what it’s called, Kintsugi, I think.
The Japanese art of, of taking like a cracked piece of ceramic or pottery and painting with golden enamel, painting over those cracks, kind of to embellish imperfections to show that there’s beauty and imperfections and there is like small cracks that were embellished in gold in the Adidas stripes.
And I was like, this is my shit. I finally found my pair Dan, and I tried ’em on and, and I loved them. So subtle things like that might not seem like a lot to somebody else, but um, obviously they are enough for me to make a podcast about this and spread the knowledge with y’all. Cause this is like subtle yet life changing shit right here and these day to day little purchases that I could have easily defaulted to my, my scarcity mindset and not have done or made any of these and just not level up.
Leveling up can be uncomfortable, but it can also be hella fun. So that’s what we’re here for. And as I record this, I’m also looking at my gold ring that I bought. It’s not gold gold, I think it’s gold plated. I bought it in Mexico for like $65 right before Pride Month. And it has that all rainbow jewels.
It has three bands. The middle band has a wave with. Purple, green, red, yellow, blue, light green on it, and I got it for myself to celebrate the fact that I’m a Latinx queer owned business 365 days of the year. This is just before Pride Month, and I know all these corporations are slapping pride flags on and target becomes Targay.
Then July 1st hits, and then I saw meme where it was like some guy seeing that rainbow crosswalk in the street and the black part of the street and it was like corporations on July 1st and the guy avoided the rainbow crosswalk and stepped on like the black crosswalk. But I don’t do that cuz I’m queer.
Every day of the year we’re here, we’re queer and we have to celebrate ourselves more if there’s like a purchase or experience that you’re hesitating about making, I really want you to, a of course, always if your finances will be affected. First of all, do you have your debt payoff plan? Do you have income streams?
Are you investing? All of those things are important, of course, before making any purchase. And also thinking if, if it’s an investment. But if you’re having mind drama over, oh, is this something I deserve? Is X thing for X type of people, I’m not X person. That I really want you to question, question those thoughts, cuz they might be stopping you from really leveling up and becoming the millionaire self that you’re meant to be.
So I hope you enjoyed this episode, y’all. I, I’m so happy that you’re listening and sharing. Please, whenever you share, tag me. Let me know what you think about this podcast, and I’ll reshare on my Instagram at Traveler Charly, I love you all. And yeah, if you wanna work with me, I am currently taking clients for my six month money coaching program.
That is my current purpose in. Other than pet sitting and dancing with doggies and posting those videos and having so much fun this summer. All right, y’all, I’m gonna put the link to book a call to work one-on-one with me to transform your money mindset and your money overall in the show notes and have a fabulous day.
Bye.