Healing money trauma is something I’ve worked on consistently in my wealth building process. In order to heal, I’ve started to recognize when I’m self-sabotaging when the success I actively create shows up.
Recognizing self sabotage
For me, the self-sabotage has showed up in the form of resentment. I noticed when I’ve had waves of new client sign ups and thousands of dollars coming in all at once, instead of my brain celebrating this and OWNING the success I created, it defaulted to resentment.
Resentment of all the “haters” who haven’t supported me, who’ve said homophobic/transphobic things to my online, the few friends who’ve stopped being in my life once I became a business owner, and resentment of all the people who didn’t value my services.
This prolonged resentment did nothing for me. In order to deal with massive sums of money coming in in a short time, my brain’s way of dealing with this influx was to bring me back down to where I used to be.
Resentment is something I’ve felt almost all my life, and it’s comfortable. It’s easier to be resentful than grateful when that’s what you’ve seen modeled growing up. This self sabotage affected my finances, but most importantly, my well being, until I actively started to catch how my brain was doing this. Now I’m rewiring it to take action from a place of love and gratitude instead of resentment.
Reading the book “The Big Leap” has been a HUGE help in recognizing how I’ve gotten in my own way. I recommend it!
Shifting to a gratitude mindset
Instead of simmering in resentment, I’ve learned to TRULY be grateful. My clients are freaking AWESOME and there are so many internet friends who I’ve recorded podcasts with, done ig lives with, and who have just straight up checked in on me while I’m out here traveling the world solo. There are PLENTY of old friends I have who support me. I’m freaking lucky!!
Self sabotaging in terms of finances can show up in different ways, like continuing to use debit cards instead of credit cards to buy things even when you are debt free and your credit score is poppin’, or continuing to save money instead of investing it, knowing that extra money outside of an emergency fund is losing value to inflation and could be growing instead.
Self sabotaging is something we do unconsciously because it keeps us a sense of safety, control and predictability. But we’re keeping ourselves small.
I help my clients transition from survival mode to thriving mode, and awareness of past patterns we’ve kept up because we did what we had to do in the past is a HUGE part of this transition.
From Survival to Thriving mode
Investing is ALL about delaying gratification for YEARS, which can be daunting when you grew up in survival mode. Making sure my future self is set is what has motivated me to max out my retirement account each year since 2016, and I won’t touch that money for DECADES.
Being debt free, being the first to make the most in your family, and breaking past money patterns come with saying goodbye to past self ish so that we can give ourselves permission to build wealth.
For help with healing money trauma and saying goodbye to self sabotage, I invite you to work with me here!